Skip to main content

Al anon 12 steps

Gods earth can heal alcoholics
Gods earth - nature is beautiful and healing. Let's heal ourselves through touching nature not by a faith in a God. Photo copyright Sergio_One

I don't understand it. The Al anon 12 steps seem to be the same as the AA 12 steps. In other words both the alcoholic and the victims alcoholism are meant to believe in the same creed. How can that be? Have I got this wrong?

In my language (as I can't copy them due to copyright laws but there is a link below to a site where you can see them) - the Al anon 12 steps are:

1. We are powerless over alcohol and our lives are unmanageable. I don't get this as it is the alcoholics life that is unmanageable and the partner who is trying to make it manageable for the alcoholic partner. Sure life is not great for those very close to an alcoholic but I am not sure it is unmanageable. Perhaps it has become that way for some and is the reason why they have gone to Al anon.

2. We need to believe that a greater power than ourselves can help us. Well sorry, but I don't believe that. It's as simple as that. And I am not sure it is a good idea to think that as it seems to be passing the buck. We need to take charge don't we?

3. We have to make a decision to hand our lives over to God as we perceive a God. I guess the person who wrote this originally was a religious person and a firm believer. I don't believe in a God any God. Where is the evidence? And to hell with faith.

4. We need to take an honest look at ourselves. Why? This implies we are the wrong doers. Maybe sometimes we are but a of the time we are innocent victims it seems to me. Sure we can be forced to be bad due to the circumstances we are under sometimes but that is by force of circumstance created by the perpetrator, the alcoholic or am I being too bullish and uncaring?

5. We have to admit our wrongs. Once again I don't get it. But yes we should all of us as a matter of course admit our wrongs but this point is not alcohol related.

6. Be ready for our God to remove our failings. Don't agree, sorry. We remove our own failings in my opinion.

7. Ask our God to remove out failings. As above.

8. List the people we have harmed and make amends. Yes agree but not alcohol related.

9. Make direct amends to people we have hurt. As above 8.

10. Admit we are wrong when we are wrong. Yes, as above but not specific to alcohol problems.

11. Through prayer and meditation improve contact with our God. Don't believe in this - do you?

12. Through a spiritual awakening acquired through the above steps to pass this on to others. I am not a missionary and missionaries have caused untold misery in foreign lands over the last century and still do. [they do some good too in terms of their non-religious work].

Well this is the first time I have seen these Al anon 12 steps and they smack of a missionary trying to convert the fallen! It looks like the person who started AA - Alcoholics Anonymous was a priest or some other person in the church and that her wanted to bring fallen people to God. I'll do some research on that next time.

Conclusion: these Al anon 12 steps don't suit me. They feel all wrong.

Al anon 12 steps to http://www.al-anon-alateen-msp.org/pages/12steps.html
Labels:

Comments

  1. indistinct16 June 2008 at 12:30

    Hi,

    In my limited experience with Alanon (because of an addicted child) my understanding is that we are powerless over the consumption of alcohol by others. In other words, no matter what I tried to do, I could not get my son to stop using drugs and now, three years later, that is still true. Two rehabs, kicking him out of the house, letting him back it, this and that, over and over, and he's still a user. Nothing I can do will stop him. Only he can make that choice.

    In coming to alanon, I discovered that I was an alcoholic. Switched from alanon to AA. So far, so good.

    My opinion, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Michael Broad LLB, ARPS16 June 2008 at 14:46

    Hi,

    Thanks for the comment. I was a bit bullish in my criticism of the 12 steps but I'm not sure they are for me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous19 November 2008 at 03:38

    Have you gone to many Alanon meetings? The steps as you have outlined them are not as cut and dry as they may initially appear. Especially with respect to the use of a higher power and the reference to "God". If you study with the program, you will find that you will develop a clearer understanding and definition of "your" higher power. We all have one, we may not always recognize what it is. Alanon is a spiritual program, not a religious one, and there is a BIG difference.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.

Popular posts from this blog

Alcoholism Signs For Family

If a person regularly falls asleep just after breakfast she is possibly an alcoholic. This is because she has had more than a stiff drink early in the morning. Although, alcoholism signs for the family are hard to spot in my experience. What is my experience? It's being the partner and now (2008) a "live in partner" of an alcoholic for about 9 years. Update: I am still her partner but no longer living with her in 2024 which is 16 years after this page was first written! The first section of this article is by me based on experience. The second part is by Bing's Co-pilot after researching the internet. At the end of the article are some pointers as to whether the person in question is an alcoholic. When I first met Jane I didn't know that she was an alcoholic. At that moment in time I was an innocent to the world of alcoholism. It took me about 3 months to realize that she was an alcoholic. What lead me to this revelation? When I didn't know she was an alcohol
Post a Comment
Read more

Alcoholism and Death

photo copyright crowolf published under a creative commons license kindly granted. These 2 ignominiously go together - Alcoholism and Death . Just after Jane's mini-binge (believe me it was a very minor binge by her standards) of about 20 hours she felt, as usual, suicidal. Jane always feels huge remorse and regret after a binge. She feels bad about letting herself down and bad about messing me around (although it wasn't that bad to be honest - it did though mess up what could have been some time together, which we are lacking at the moment due to work). Jane really does genuinely feel suicidal after a binge. But I must say I don't think she'll ever do it. She hasn't got the courage - I know that sounds horrendously cruel etc etc but this blog is about the plain truth unvarnished. It takes courage to kill yourself and a lots of despair. Jane has the one but not the other. Anyway to get more positive. We had a little talk and I in my usual style, mentioned
67 comments
Read more

Alcoholism is a Disease

1904 Advertisement I have always wondered if alcoholism is a disease . Is this just some sort of idea someone dreamed up years ago as a method to make a buck. You know it could have been that way. People think diseases are either curable or that the symptoms can be controlled to an extent where the person can live pretty normally. The signal sent to alcoholics by the idea that alcoholism is a disease is, "I can be cured by a pill" or "there is hope". And they go off and search for a cure to this mysterious disease...... It may be a disease, though. What is the definition of "disease"? It is an abnormal condition that impairs bodily functions with accompanying symptoms (after Wikipedia). Or here is another definition: An alteration of the state of the body or parts of it interrupting normal function (mine after ThinkExist.com). These are broad definitions. We usually think of diseases as say a virus that infects us and causes illness; the common cold is t
28 comments
Read more