I guess it is a kind of public argument. How would Jane react to this blog? A person making a comment asked that question - a good question. There is no point just hitting out and hurting her. But maybe this blog will help.
She consistently denies that she is drinking. Although she did go to AA for 5 months so admitted it there. An alcoholic needs to be public about their drinking. It is the first step in recovery. She intends to write about her alcoholism anyway. Also I told her I'd do this blog. These are the pro arguments.
Maybe I am just justifying doing it. Is this blog cruel? If it is I'll stop it.
Update: some more pro and con points:
- Jane intends to write about her alcoholism. If she intends to make it truly public, I am allowed to talk about it anonymously
- It is educational. A lot goes on behind closed doors. What we see in the world is not what happens in the world. This blog helps to rectify that.
- There needs to be an openness to help cure and release the problem
- I am a carer, I have the right to talk about my experiences
- If Jane suffered from cancer would I do the same thing - yes - because it tells the world about the kind of torment that exists behind the facade. Some people think that what they see is how the world is - wrong (I am repeating the point above)
- Why shouldn't I make this blog? It isn't cruel. We, who live with alcoholics are the victims. The perpetrators are the alcoholics.
- Why don't I move out? It is never as easy as that. There are many factors to consider. We are all human too.
- She'll never find out about this blog unless someone else, who surfs the net for stuff about alcoholism and knows her, finds out and tells her.
- It is cruel and an abuse of a vulnerable person
- It is self indulgent
So, why don't I leave? Just go and be done with the whole sorry mess of it. Well, as usual it is not that straightforward. First, although it is bad, very bad when she binges she is not binging all the time. So, I forget the hassle in between. Here are some other reasons:
- I like the area (very pragmatic that one but that is how life works)
- I have let my home so I can't go back to it
- I don't want to go back to my home as I prefer living where I am
- I will need to sell my home when the tenant agreement ends and I can't because the market is depressed. I'd rather sell when the market bounces back
- My cat likes her home here. That might sound odd but she is very important to me
- I need to find another companion and that as we all know is not easy
- I don't want to move again. I did all the work moving here. I went through all the hassle and left my home to which I cannot return.
Is this blog cruel? to still drinking