Thursday, 15 January 2009

The Anger


Photo by Bright_Star

The anger and bile coming out of me has subsided since my last posting. I've just read it and it reminds me how bad I feel during and after one of Jane's binges.

I have tried ringing her at hospital and only on two occasions managed to talk to her. This is because unsurprisingly she is very tired and the hospital drug her, calm her down with sleeping pills and tranquillizers. This combination means that she sleeps a lot, which is good for her but it also means I cannot realistically visit.

Went to Al-anon about 3 days ago and found it hopeless. The first meetings helped but now I find I cannot say what I want to for fear of upsetting people. I talk too much and that upsets people, the ones in charge. I feel it is not worth going again and this made me feel very depressed when combined with Jane's alcoholism. That's life, I guess. The anger though has subsided as it always does until the next time.

2 comments:

  1. Freddie,

    What may help is talking to someone outside of the meeting - it sounds like when you say you talk too much, that you have a real need to talk about the situation, and that the structure of the one hour meeting is not enough. Or maybe try a different group - the dynamics are usually a bit different at each one. When I first started at the beginners meeting, I was more talkative, so much background, so much suffering, so many tales of woe! Now my blog helps and friends (I tag team them with the latest so as to not wear one out) and an alanon sponsor, and a therapist. Whew! I guess I do talk a lot!

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  2. Thanks cosufferer for your support. I'll try a different group. I tend to talk at a philosophical level at meetings (well kind of) and people don't like that.

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I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.