Saturday, 31 January 2009
A Waiting Game
Waiting (for the miracle) - photo by by Ekler
We are both playing a waiting game. I have told Jane that I am exploring arrangements to move out, which I am doing (surprise). Jane knows I am doing this and it seems she is making an effort at least for the time being to behave. I just know that the time will come for me to go. It is just a matter of time and I have mentioned this before over and over again. It is just so damn complicated to get out of here both emotionally and practically. I am playing a waiting game to see if she improves. Yes, I know she won't.
Jane is also waiting to see if I actually take more tangible steps to move. The mood is OK because she is showing me some respect for once. At last she seems to understand the pain caused not only to me but her relatives. I sense a more responsible attitude but will it be sustained. Well we all know it won't.
So, just enjoy it for the moment, is what I tell myself and when the inevitable ghastly binge comes along with all the mayhem it brings, I hope it will propel me out of here but God knows where to.
Photo published under creative commons: