Parallel Universe -that is where I am - photo by yhancik
If you have been an alcoholic for say 30 years and are say about mid fifties, I believe that you are more likely to become a worse alcoholic if you are not so called "recovering" (a euphemism for managing to control it - just).
This, I feel, is the case with Jane. Her binges are slightly different. There is more an air that she has given up. And giving up is not the thing to do if you are an alcoholic.
As I write this she is in the 8th day of a binge. As a reminder, for her, a binge is:
- to lie in bed almost permanently
- to consume about one 75 ml bottle of vodka per day (wine bottle size) (update: this means 75 cl or a wine bottle size)
- to eat extremely little
- to lose weight (she is a poor eater and thin anyway)
- to make herself sick
- to sleep in an horrendous smelly mess
- to make death rattle noises in the night
- to give me the feeling that I am living with a corpse
- to go out to the shops to buy more booze looking like a dirty drunk tramp inviting a mugging
- to make me very anxious
- to make me feel that I am in a parallel universe
- to make me want to leave and I will bloody leave this time