Look, I know that it is a bit extreme to call myself a "victim" as I put myself here. But it is not all about free choice. The emotional ties are strong. You are in a very difficult place when you get stuck with an alcoholic. You know you have to leave but you find it very difficult.
However, as I said, I am leaving because it is the right thing to do - hard though it is.
I am buying my own home. I am struggling with this because it is sh*t buying a place in London, England. It is competitive and very expensive and....I could go on.
I expect to be out of here in about a month or two. Then this diary will become something different.
I intend to still see Jane but not as an alcoholic lying in her filth. I want to see only the good bits of her and only have the nice experiences.
I feel depressed about it and worried about it all. I must go on. It is the only way forward.