Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Planning a Binge

Diary - Photo by kevinspencer

I think it is worth making two points about binge alcoholism. The newspapers frequently refer to binge drinking in the UK. For the most part these people are not alcoholics. They are just drinking excessively at the weekend. Some may develop into full blown alcoholics. This will happen when they cross the wire. They won't know they have crossed it until one day it dawns on them.

Secondly, Jane plans well ahead when she is going to binge. The appropriate days will be holidays. The classic free days for a binge are at Christmas. She almost always had a binge at Christmas. She will make extensive plans to do x, y and z and then go to bed for the entire duration and drink neat vodka out of the bottle. Washout Christmas.

True binge drinkers are planners and plotters. They may also trickle drink in between binges. There are no clear boundaries between abstaining from drink and boozing. It merges slightly.

9 comments:

  1. Hi, I think your comments although raw at times reflect the disease as it is and you deserve praise for your insight into yourself & why you stay. Unless you have walked in similar shoes the blog may appear cruel at times but I think it serves a much greater purpose, ie keeping your sanity and its sobering reading for anyone that may be close to the wire... Stay well & look after each other. C.

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  2. Hello Freddie, how are things for you and Jane we havent heard from you for a while. I know Christmas is a difficult time as it usually results in you being on your own as Jane has a binge and you end up feeling hurt and lonely. I hope things are better this year. Wishing you peace at Christmas best wishes G

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  3. Thanks for these comments. Things are not too bad at the moment. Christmas is coming up and Jane has these plans to do things...etc. but I say, stay sober, just do that and the rest will follow. The blog does help me. It helps offload emotions. Jane is not a bad person. I am tough but I say it as I see it. It is hard though. But I have no right to complain. I could leave. I wish you both a Happy Christmas. Let us hope for a good 2012 despite all the financial problems.

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  4. My ex-boyfriend died of cirrhosis from alcoholism, and his behavior was nowhere near Jane's when I lived with him. I don't even know what to say because I see that Jane is on the same path. Even with the stints in rehab and the trips to the hospital, you never really REALLY think they will actually die from this, do you? They do. In the end, there is nothing you can do to help them stop, and that is the worst thing about this. You are enabling her by living with her - I know you know this. And her actions are truly killing you too. What kind of life is this? I know you love her and you're afraid to be alone. But you can love someone while protecting your own safety and well-being too. Let her try to take care of herself and deal with the consequences of her own actions. Maybe that might push her into recovery. And please, please take care of yourself.

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  5. My brother just died from alcoholism. I can handle most of this but my parents, this is eating at them. The guilt, the anger, the sadness...this is a vicious disease. I am saddened of my bother's death and I pray for any one else who is going through this. My only words of advice are take care of yourself first and foremost. you HAVE to. Peace be with you.

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  6. Is everything okay? Did you get through the holidays unscathed?

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  7. Just read blog entries from start to finish - hope you are well, caring and being a carer can take their toll, both physically and emotionally. How have Christmas and the holiday season been? Can only hope that 2012 will be a better year for both of you.
    Best wishes.

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  8. Hi,

    Wishing you & Jane all the best for 2012, I hope Christmas was ok, you haven't posted in a while but you're not forgotten. C.

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  9. Thanks for the comments. Things are not that bad at the moment. I can't and won't say that Jane is beginning to control her alcoholism because if I do I'll regret it. Christmas was OK, thanks. I was surprised but she did not drink. Just ate too much turkey! Nothing much to report. For which I am eternally grateful. Maybe just maybe the alcoholism is being squeezed out of her but don't bank on it.

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I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.