Jane is not bad. There is the occasional lapse but these days it is just buying booze on the way home, drinking, getting home, falling asleep after about an hour and not getting up. That is good. Although I miss her when she is asleep. It is hard to do anything together. Every time she is off I make plans. Every time...you guessed it, the plans don't translate to reality.
The trouble is, as a victim of an alcoholic, you are just waiting for the next binge - living on the edge. And I am super sensitive to the signs of alcoholism and I am super sensitive - full stop, period. I can't take another binge. It must be a kind of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
I sense that Jane has got the message about me. She is nicer to me - great. It's just life. There are millions of similar situations every minute of every day on the planet. They are not always about alcohol but they are always about fear, anxiety and disharmony. I'm pretty chilled out, though, because I am too tired to get wound up about it.