The Diary of a Victim of an Alcoholic

At the date of this post 29th Dec 2014, we are still together but living apart. We see each other when we can and go out together. We have space to ourselves. We have plans to live together in a home which allows us both to have some space but be together. Jane still drinks but much less and she manages it better. She holds down a job. We still argue but have good times together. We went to the local park today for walk and had a nice time. It was cold and sunny. I suppose this is life; the imperfections of life and of relationships. Sometimes when I look at her she shows me, in her expression, her tender, childish, charming undamaged interior. It is the face of innocence. Innocence is beautiful and precious. It is pure. In part, at least, my relationship with Jane, from my side, is one of carer and father. It fills a need I have. Perhaps from her side she needs her father who died years ago. We are father/daughter to a certain extent. I feel psychologically messed up these day

Sorry for the very long wait.  I didn't want to bother to write this.  To be honest it has become boring to write this blog.  This is because I created the blog to offload some of my anger and emotional anguish but this has now dissipated for various reasons. One of the reasons is that Jane has improved.  There is no doubt in my mind that since meeting her, her drinking has become much less of a way of life and more of an occasional blip.  She still lapses and the odd mini-binge but before her binges would take her out of operation for up to a month, whereas now she can get away with it. It interferes with her life much less. I am going to boast and say that I believe a lot of the progress is due to me. Anyway that isn't the point.  Another reason why things have improved is because I left our home and moved into a flat about 3 miles away.  That happened last October 2013.  I knew, however, that I would be extremely lonely and I am. I still see Jane.  I actually love her,