The Diary of a Victim of an Alcoholic

The roller coaster continues. I am jerked hither and thither not knowing what the hell to do. She has just had another binge. Her bedroom still stinks. But she says she may be the world's untidiest person (she definitely is) but she is clean (she definitely is not). You cannot be clean if the floor is covered in everything, literally everything is on the bloody floor. She hoards manically. She does this because she is scared of everything. She panics at the drop of a hat, at anything. She defends the indefensible and argues at anything. She provokes arguments. She is only happy when she is sad. Madness. An upside down word. She is losing her job. At last! Her employer has been jerked along by her lies about absenteeism - always an illness but of course never alcoholism. She must be the most ill person at her place of work. No one has had as many illnesses as her! And they take a month to get over. Errr..no her binges take a month to get over. My mind wanders to a calm place whe

As all the commentators to this site have said, things don't change for the true alcoholic. Maybe they do for some but it is rare and Jane is not one of those who will ever change. She had another binge recently. The whole episode lasted three weeks, from a week's binge, a week's recovery at hospital and home and a further weeks recovery and sorting out getting back to work. She is still off work and going back Monday. She has been lazy. A lazy mind leads to alcoholism. Did I say work!? Not much chance of that for the future. Her employer is very tolerant but she is heading for the sack. It is a question of time not if. And it is a decent job for her. Of course I am used to her alcoholic binges but they are hard to deal with. This time she missed three important events one of which concerned me (and very important to me) and I said I will never forgive her for it. I won't. She does feel very bad about it and says sorry but saying sorry is pointless.