The Diary of a Victim of an Alcoholic

The most important question that we can ask in respect of alcoholism is, "what causes it?". If we know the answer to this question, we can cure it, stop it call it what you like. Certain people have a propensity to alcoholism. This means that under the same conditions a person more susceptible to alcoholism will succumb to it more often than one who is not susceptible. This doesn't tell us about the underlying cause. Humans are self-conscious animals. We can evaluate ourselves. We can assess ourselves. I understand that our cousins the apes can do the same thing. Humans think that the other animals on this planet are not self-conscious. When we evaluate ourselves we conclude that we don't like ourselves. We also conclude that we don't like the societies on this planet that we have created. As a result we subconsciously want to destroy the planet. This is manifest in the mindless violence of the young who express themselves and the mindless destruction of the peopl...

The idea is that Jane goes to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) every day (new years resolution) and I help her to get there if needed. As I mentioned she doesn't seem that keen despite agreeing with me that the most important thing in her life is to control her drinking. Her alcoholism has ruined her life for the past 25 years or so. It's also messed up mine to an extent but I'm kind of used to it. She has to find work as well (recently redundant). These are the two priorities. The first of which is to deal with her alcoholism. Everything will follow on from that. I just don't sense commitment. She wriggles out of it. She claims she is too busy. She simply is not too busy. And anyway, everything should be dropped to deal with her illness. I'll do the rest if I have too. Because if she is not drinking my life improves a lot so even on a selfish basis it pays to help Jane to stop drinking. Anyway she went to AA at lunchtime on her own. She said she'd be gone about 3 hour...

I can only write this based on my own personal experiences as a victim of an alcoholic. I have given it a lot of thought but before writing on this subject I have not researched the matter as I want this to be solely based on experience. Jane (not her real name), my partner, is an alcoholic. She is a binge alcoholic. This means every 3 weeks, more or less, she takes to the bed and drinks neat Vodka out of the bottle at the rate of one large bottle (70 cl or 1 liter) per day (plus a bit more sometimes) for a period of about 4-10 days. She remains in bed when doing this. She sleeps or dozes throughout the experience. In between binges she drinks in the evening sometimes but this is not done in front of me. She nearly always drinks neat Vodka and always secretly even though I can tell when she is drinking and she knows that I know. I can say with some certainty that alcoholism is to an extent genetic based, meaning the propensity to it is inherited. This is because an observation of her ...

What causes alcoholism? There are many causes, I am sure. There is normally a predisposition to it that is inherited. This is compounded by events in early life normally created by your parents or close relatives. I know what has caused my girlfriend to become an alcoholic. I'll write about it many times in this blog. If if any women reads this and cynically thinks, "yeh, it's you, you bastard", well you're very wrong. She became an alcoholic many many years before I met her. Because I loved her I didn't recognize that she was alcoholic until about 3 months into our relationship. That sounds strange. You would have thought I would have spotted it easily. Well there are several reasons why I didn't. One is that I had never met an alcoholic before and you expect someone to be a bit drunk when you see them drinking. You are programmed to judge drunkenness after seeing people drink or under certain conditions. You are not expecting to see someone drunk at any...