Why are alcoholics in denial about their alcoholism?

Jane, the protagonist in this blog, is constantly in profound denial about her alcoholism. You simply cannot talk to her about it. If you try she becomes angry and argumentative. She simply refuses to discuss her alcoholism which perpetuates it because you can never tackle it. 

Denial is lying to oneself...

She doesn't allow other people to discuss it. Although in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting she will play the role and admit to her alcoholism. However, it has never worked to stop her alcoholism. Her denial is so profound that I don't see any hope of her changing.

Denial is a type of defence mechanism. Through denial you ignore the reality of the situation that you are in. The purpose? To avoid anxiety. It is therefore a defence mechanism. It helps to cope with distressing feelings. A person in denial does not acknowledge reality. 

They deny the consequences of reality. This is that they are an alcoholic. Alcoholism ruins your life or severely curtails enjoyment. It can make you miserable. Depressed and suicidal. It destroys your workplace prospects. It can get you sacked. It can lead to accidents which harm you. Or accidents that kill you.

As an alcoholic it is next to impossible to have a decent relationship with somebody unless they are, also, an alcoholic. Then the relationship is poor. It might be an example of co-dependency.

So in denial you deny all these possibilities. You try and trick yourself into believing that life is normal. It is self-deception. Through denial you lie to yourself and others about your alcoholism. And through lying about that the alcoholic lies about other things too because it teaches them to life and they think that it brings advantages.

And if you deny your alcoholism you don't go to organisations like Alcoholics Anonymous where the first thing you do is to admit that you are an alcoholic. That is to reverse your denial which has likely occurred throughout the time that you have not been attending Alcoholics Anonymous.

The organisation knows that you must break the denial and that's what you start off with: openly expressing your addiction.

So denial is about self-preservation admitting to the problem can be to emotionally challenging for the alcoholic. In denial you defend yourself against feelings of shame, guilt and fear of judgement. Fair judgement is why you lie to others. In denial you protect your self-image or you try to. 

However, sometimes lying in denial is so transparent to the other that it cannot possibly fool them. In denial the alcoholic thinks that they can avoid facing the negative consequences associated with their behaviour.

Lack of awareness: some alcoholics are unaware of their alcoholism and the impact that it is having on their lives and the lives of others. This may be due to denial or simply may be due to a lack of awareness of what alcoholism is. They may not recognise the signs and symptoms of alcoholism and may downplay its severity.

Minimisation and rationalisation: in denial alcoholics may minimise the consequences of the drinking or rationalise their behaviour by finding external factors or other circumstances to blame. They may blame then drinking on stress or the fact that they have to socialise after work.

Fear of change: to be in recovery from alcoholism the alcoholic needs to make a fundamental change to their lifestyle and address underlying emotional issues. Denial once again can serve as a defence mechanism against the fear and uncertainty linked to these fundamental changes.

Social and cultural factors: sometimes people can fail to recognise their alcoholism because they partake in a culture where heavy drinking is socially acceptable. There may be an element of denial here as well and that the alcoholic is finding a reason for the heavy drinking other than an addiction to alcohol.

Denial is far from exclusively associated with alcoholism. It is observed in various forms of addiction and other problematic behaviours.

In overcoming denial the alcoholic makes the first step in the recovery process. It normally requires professional intervention and support from colleagues and loved ones and an utterly committed willingness to confront the alcoholism and its underlying causes on a daily basis for the rest of their lives.