Skip to main content

We Had a Nice Day Today

Today was sunny. We had a nice day today. Jane came over and we went for a walk down by the river. Then we had a coffee and a cup of tea at a café. Then she went back to her flat and I went to my flat. That was pleasant. We are seeing each other regularly. We are enjoying each other's company.


Don't be fooled by this. It isn't this good ;) We just live day to day.

Jane is still, if one is brutally honest, a practising binge alcoholic but the time between binges has dramatically extended over the 20 years that I've known her. I don't wish to be boastful but she has dramatically improved over the time that I have known her. She still denies that she is an alcoholic.

She still denies that she has been drinking when I know she has been drinking and therefore she cannot really say that she is a recovering alcoholic. All recovering alcoholics have admitted that they are alcoholics which is the first stage in a true recovery. However, putting that behind me for a moment, things are going quite well.

The reason why I am writing this is because I did a bit of work on the website today and therefore read one or two articles which reminded me of what I had gone through. The great, the overriding, thread that runs through this blog is that there are lots of ups and downs, disasters, and highs in this relationship all of which are dictated to by Jane's alcoholism.

Anyway, this is no time to criticise or feel down. I'm tiredly optimistic if that makes sense by which I mean I'm tired but a little optimistic that Jane will survive. She will binge again but the binges are getting shorter although they are very damaging.

When a person goes an alcoholic binge for a few days everything stands still so everything goes over her head. Life passes by which leaves her high and dry! Result: problems.

I don't expect anything wonderful. I just live day by day. I hope that my next time with her will be pleasant. We go to London sometimes on trips and enjoy each other's company. Jane still struggles with coping and of course her binge drinking affects her employment which naturally means that sometimes she struggles financially.

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.

Popular posts from this blog

Alcoholism Signs For Family

If a person regularly falls asleep just after breakfast she is possibly an alcoholic. This is because she has had more than a stiff drink early in the morning. Although, alcoholism signs for the family are hard to spot in my experience. What is my experience? It's being the partner and now (2008) a "live in partner" of an alcoholic for about 9 years. Update: I am still her partner but no longer living with her in 2024 which is 16 years after this page was first written! The first section of this article is by me based on experience. The second part is by Bing's Co-pilot after researching the internet. At the end of the article are some pointers as to whether the person in question is an alcoholic. When I first met Jane I didn't know that she was an alcoholic. At that moment in time I was an innocent to the world of alcoholism. It took me about 3 months to realize that she was an alcoholic. What lead me to this revelation? When I didn't know she was an alcohol...
Post a Comment
Read more

Living With An Alcoholic

Here is what it is like Living With An Alcoholic . Whatever a normal relationship might mean, it doesn't exist. It is snuffed out by the dreaded Mr V (vodka). One of the first things that comes to mind is that alcoholics are known to be unreliable and just plain liars. And I am not being critical of alcoholics. I am just describing the facts. Alcoholism drives the alcoholic to lie and deceive. It becomes a way of life. And broken promises abound. Promises to change and stop. These are all well intentioned but can never be kept until the alcoholic is what AA calls a recovering alcoholic. Recovering alcoholics are alcoholics who are able, for the time being, to control their alcoholism. It is as good as it can get for them and their partner. So living with an alcoholic is a very fragile existence, the relationship always undermined by a breach of trust or a potential breach of trust. Then there are the rows. These occur during the binge drinking or continuous drinking (if the alcohol...
38 comments
Read more

Alcoholics Disappoint

Emptiness born out of continual disappointment - photo by Tch0la =) Alcoholics disappoint all the time. It happens over and over again. As a victim of an alcoholic you think that you can start living even a little bit normally. Just a little bit of normality is all you ask. It is all you crave. And when you think that you are getting there, bang, she screws up again. Jane hardly ever keeps her word. She will promise and never deliver. These are the ways of alcoholics. Or at least the one I am living with. But I think it is pretty normal across the board. Alcoholics disappoint in part because they are constantly being driven by the first priority in their life: where and when to get the next drink. This rules their lives. They probably hate it but I reckon most don't even have an opinion on it. Their mind is full of the desire for that first rush after the neat vodka hits the brain. And then they can't resist the urge to repeat it. Jane does this until she falls asleep. Jane pr...
13 comments
Read more