|Don't be fooled by this. It isn't this good ;) We just live day to day.|
Jane is still, if one is brutally honest, a practising binge alcoholic but the time between binges has dramatically extended over the 20 years that I've known her. I don't wish to be boastful but she has dramatically improved over the time that I have known her. She still denies that she is an alcoholic.
She still denies that she has been drinking when I know she has been drinking and therefore she cannot really say that she is a recovering alcoholic. All recovering alcoholics have admitted that they are alcoholics which is the first stage in a true recovery. However, putting that behind me for a moment, things are going quite well.
The reason why I am writing this is because I did a bit of work on the website today and therefore read one or two articles which reminded me of what I had gone through. The great, the overriding, thread that runs through this blog is that there are lots of ups and downs, disasters, and highs in this relationship all of which are dictated to by Jane's alcoholism.
Anyway, this is no time to criticise or feel down. I'm tiredly optimistic if that makes sense by which I mean I'm tired but a little optimistic that Jane will survive. She will binge again but the binges are getting shorter although they are very damaging.
When a person goes an alcoholic binge for a few days everything stands still so everything goes over her head. Life passes by which leaves her high and dry! Result: problems.
I don't expect anything wonderful. I just live day by day. I hope that my next time with her will be pleasant. We go to London sometimes on trips and enjoy each other's company. Jane still struggles with coping and of course her binge drinking affects her employment which naturally means that sometimes she struggles financially.