The Diary of a Victim of an Alcoholic

It is still calm. I have nothing to say. No blood and guts. No near death scenes. Just fairly normal. It seems my ultimatum did some good but this will not last. We are talking about me moving into the main bedroom as a bolt hole so when the next binge does take place I can keep out of the way and live my life fairly normally while the storm blows over!

Peaceful currently - photo by fabry... Here is a quick update, some more alcoholism chat. For the very few who follow this blog, the reason why I have not made a post for a while is because things have been quiet. This is mainly because after the last binge I kinda gave an ultimatum that unless the binge drinking stopped I would have to leave. Jane took that to heart and has put in an extra effort to stop. Also she has been away on holiday on her own for the past week so it has been lovely and quite for the last 7 days. Did I miss her? Yes, despite the waring and the binging and the living hell when she is drinking, memories are short and the terrible moments one goes through when she is binging are forgotten until the next time, when it all comes very quickly back. Jane returns from holiday tomorrow and it is highly likely that she will be fine for a reasonable time as she will need to work for a while to prove to her employer that she is worth employing. Then, when she feels comforta...

This, too, is an extract from French Wikipedia, translated by Google, on the history of the alcoholics favorite beverage, vodka. We can blame the Russians: It is distilled from the fourteenth century, but a century later, Prince Ivan III (1462-1505) prohibited the production of strong alcoholic beverages. Czar Ivan IV (1533-1584), said Ivan the Terrible built the first tavern in Moscow and establishes the principle of distilleries and places of distribution of state. It had a monopoly on the production and sale of vodka, which has enabled the state to reap substantial profits. During this period, the vodka is a very important role in culture and the Russian economy. In 1894, Emperor Alexander III decreed that the standard of the title alcohol Russian vodka is 40 °. It builds on the work of the chemist Dmitri Mendeleev who had previously shown that the best vodka headline to 38 °, but the fees for the time being calculated on the alcohol, is the title of which was 40 ° retained to fac...

Ethanol - this is a Google translation of French Wikipedia on ethanol, just for an experiment. It is totally unabridged except for the word catabolisé , which Google should have translated into catabolized or for Europeans catabolised. I am trying to figure out what that word means! Ethanol (CH3CH2OH), the active ingredient of alcoholic beverages, is almost always produced by fermentation - the carbohydrate metabolic pathway of certain species of yeast in the absence of oxygen. It had been argued that alcohol impurities (congeners) were the cause of hangovers. However, it is more likely to be caused by ethanal, an oxidized intermediate form produced by the liver where alcohol is catabolisé. Alcoholic beverages with greater than 40% of the volume are highly flammable. In chemistry, the term alcohol refers to all organic compounds in which a hydroxyl group (-OH) is bound to a carbon atom, which in turn is connected to other carbon atoms or hydrogen. Other alcohols such as propylene g...

Sadness - neglect - loneliness - alone - lost - cold - true - seeking - sadness. Photo by Justin Gaurav Murgai Sometimes I wonder if Jane's alcoholic behavior is rooted in brain damage. And that sounds almost ridiculous. But, you know, even when she is sober (and there are periods between binges when she is sober) she behaves in ways that indicate to me that "something is missing". And please don't misconstrue this as a criticism or a derogatory remark. I am very sympathetic and tender towards all vulnerable creatures of the world including people who are damaged. When people just don't "get it", they simply don't get the most basic of things and you wonder if they are brain damaged. Then you wonder if they are brain damaged because of the vodka. There are no immediate apparent signs of damage by alcohol (ethanol alcohol) in booze but I think it gradually erodes and destroys the body and mind. Does it gradually erode hearing? Jane either refuses to ...