Monday, 2 March 2009

Alcoholic Behavior

Sadness - neglect - loneliness - alone - lost - cold - true - seeking - sadness. Photo by Justin Gaurav Murgai

Sometimes I wonder if Jane's alcoholic behavior is rooted in brain damage. And that sounds almost ridiculous. But, you know, even when she is sober (and there are periods between binges when she is sober) she behaves in ways that indicate to me that "something is missing". And please don't misconstrue this as a criticism or a derogatory remark. I am very sympathetic and tender towards all vulnerable creatures of the world including people who are damaged.

When people just don't "get it", they simply don't get the most basic of things and you wonder if they are brain damaged. Then you wonder if they are brain damaged because of the vodka. There are no immediate apparent signs of damage by alcohol (ethanol alcohol) in booze but I think it gradually erodes and destroys the body and mind.

Does it gradually erode hearing? Jane either refuses to listen or can't hear. Or is it me? I know what it is like to be messed up by early year experiences. That is why I am tender to the vulnerable. I am strong but also vulnerable. Alcoholic behavior could sometimes be rooted in very slight brain damage incurred at birth, that seems a possibility. If it is not that, it might be neglect during the early years when development needs to take place. As I said, Jane acts like a teenager or someone even younger who is trying to live as an adult in a hostile world - what chance?

At the moment she is travelling (holiday supposedly) and I have a horrible suspicion she has had her credit cards stolen. Wait and see what happens next. The last call I got from an airport, she sounded drunk. Could these two events be linked?

1 comment:

  1. I'd like to add that my SO says that my mother was drinking while pregnant. That is why I'm exhibiting certain behaviors. She also said I fell out of my crib straight on my head onto the floor (which my SO also points out as having a damaging effect).

    Throughout my life these fell largely in the area of 'misplacing' things. Can't find keys, lose or misplace simple things; easily lose stuff; wallets, phones, etc. Space out while doing so. A bit messy, although not dirty, just plain disorganized in day to day stuff (Although this is completely opposite in my job and anything professional).

    Anyway, could very well be. I guess you enjoy the analysis of this all.


I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.