The Diary of a Victim of an Alcoholic

Emptiness born out of continual disappointment - photo by Tch0la =) Alcoholics disappoint all the time. It happens over and over again. As a victim of an alcoholic you think that you can start living even a little bit normally. Just a little bit of normality is all you ask. It is all you crave. And when you think that you are getting there, bang, she screws up again. Jane hardly ever keeps her word. She will promise and never deliver. These are the ways of alcoholics. Or at least the one I am living with. But I think it is pretty normal across the board. Alcoholics disappoint in part because they are constantly being driven by the first priority in their life: where and when to get the next drink. This rules their lives. They probably hate it but I reckon most don't even have an opinion on it. Their mind is full of the desire for that first rush after the neat vodka hits the brain. And then they can't resist the urge to repeat it. Jane does this until she falls asleep. Jane pr...

Photo by nicdalic How to help an alcoholic? It is almost impossible. Or at least it seems like it. They all say that in the end it is down to the alcoholic to decide to stop and that is correct, obviously. But, and here is the good bit, there are things that can be done that lead the alcoholic down a route during which he or she develops an awareness of the alcoholism, develops a strengthened mind to combat it and shifts away from alcoholic habits. Because a lot of alcoholism is down to routine and habits. Unless the alcoholic is drinking all the time (continuously), the brain starts thinking about alcohol at a certain time because in the past on countless previous occasions the person drank alcohol at that time after, before or during a certain type of event. To change drinking habits is as long a process as becoming an alcoholic. It may take years and probably will. Over the years before becoming an alcoholic a person would have drunk alcohol in small doses and gradually wanted and t...

Try a Kiwi Colada instead - photo by MadMan the Mighty I wish my partner had liked non alcoholic Pina Colada! (to be proper....it should be spelled Piña Colada - the lady in the second video down pronounces the word correctly by the way). Or I wish she liked non alcohol vodka! Actually, she does very occasionally like to drink non alcoholic beer. But that is not really her style. The Pina Colada was made famous (for me) by Del Boy in Only Fools and Horses (a UK comedy TV series that finished many years ago but which is still extremely popular). It was one of Del Boy's favorites, all dressed up in a cocktail glass. The recipe for the pina colada is: 1 measure white/golden rum 2 measures pineapple juice 2 measures coconut cream Garnish: A slice of pineapple and/or a maraschino cherry or a slice of orange Here is Del Boy - no reason except it is hilarious: Here is the recipe for Pina Colada in a video: The recipe might be a bit different to the one above in words! Non alcoholic Pina C...

Photo by THEfunkyman What about the good old alcoholic DTs? Jane has certainly suffered those but I have not seen her have all the symptoms of the DTs (delirium tremens). Alcoholic DTs (they can occur for other reasons than through consumption of alcohol) occur when the person stops after a long bout of drinking. In Jane's case this would happen after a particularly heavy binge. And by that I would mean drinking over a bottle of neat vodka a day (sometimes up to 2 bottles per day) for a period of about 7-10 days. She is asleep nearly all the time and wakes up to eat something and drink more vodka. When she stops because she is bored (!) she asks me for some booze (has she stopped?) to ease her off the binge. Coming down from a binge can be very heavy indeed and in the past (much less now) she might spend a full month recovering from a single binge. After stopping for about 12 hours she would sometimes cry out in her sleep; obviously having a terrible nightmare. I would wake her. Ot...

by Daveybot I am not married to an alcoholic but I live with a person who is an alcoholic - no difference really. The life is completely different to what one might call "normal". I have forgotten what normal is. I have lost touch with what a normal life might have been. Jane is a binge alcoholic so the impact on one's life is different to living with a full-time alcoholic. I should say that I moved in with her knowing full well that she was a binge alcoholic. I had known her for about 10 years or more before moving in. I knew it would be a form of hell and for the first 2 year it was, But at the moment, although the she gets drunk, the long very damaging binges that took place regularly some years ago are now less severe - touch wood. However, one of the worst aspect of living with a binge alcoholic is not knowing when the next binge will happen. It is all so unpredictable. Although there is a certain kind of pattern, the exact type of binge and its duration cannot be a...

photo by brain_blogger (new window). Jane does not suffer from the classic alcoholic blackout these days or has not had a blackout for about two years. A blackout is when the person cannot remember events during the time he or she was drunk (en bloc blackout - sometimes pieces of information can be recalled). Jane does, though, suffer from general memory loss or it seems to me that her memory is not good and certainly a lot less good than before. As it is a gradual change it goes unrecognised for a long time until one day it dawns on you that your memory sucks (to use an American term). By then it is usually far too late to do anything about it. Apparently there were times in the past when she had an alcoholic blackout but on rare occasions. These days she always binge drinks in bed so no harm can come of her except falling over when going to the toilet or out buying more drink (considerable harm can happen when falling over of course). What I mean is that she doesn't go out to dr...

A sign about alcohol not signs of an alcoholic -- nice photo by Mr. T in DC People ask what are the signs of a person who is an alcoholic? I am simply going to refer to my experiences with Jane, my alcoholic partner, in answering this question and not look for general answers on the internet. As background information I was meeting up with Jane for about 10 years before living with her for about 2 and a half years. I still live with her. The first day we went out together Jane was drunk but I didn't realise it. She picked me up at a London railway station and she drove the car back to her flat (apartment). She was well over the drink drive limit and was a severe danger to me and herself and I had no idea at the time! Only about 6 months later (I forget exactly when) did I realise that she was drunk on that first date and that she risked my life! In fact, she got lost getting home, a journey of about 3 miles across London so I guided her, which I felt was strange (strange behaviour ...

Phymatous rosacea Alcoholic nose is a red nose and a bulbous nose that we think is associated with consuming excessive amounts of alcohol. The most famous person with such a nose was W.C. Fields. However, it seems that there are three possible processes at work and an alcoholic nose is, in fact, not simply a nose disfigured and reddened by alcohol. Reddening Alcohol causes the blood vessels to dilate (get bigger). This applies to the small capillary blood vessels near the surface of the skin. When dilated the person looks flushed and red. It may be localised. This is an underlying state. Petechiae There may be petechiae on the face. These are red spots on the body including the face that are caused by a minor bleed of a capillary vessel. This may, it seems, be caused by reduced liver function due to a liver damaged by alcoholism. The liver produces clotting factors which help control bleeding. If this function is reduced, minor, harmless, bleeding of capillary vessels may t...

Liver biopsy - Author of work Nephron - published under license. Jane is a long term binge drinker and has no symptoms of alcoholic liver disease. It is thought that binge drinking allows the liver time to recover, while long term chronic drinking of alcohol (near continuous) is the type of alcoholism that causes liver disease. The symptoms of alcoholic liver disease depends on the severity of the disease. There are three types of liver conditions caused by drinking too much alcohol: fatty liver (fat build up in the liver cells) hepatitis (inflammation of the liver) cirrhosis (liver tissue replaced by fibrous - scar - tissue) These conditions can occur at the same time. Fatty liver Alcohol consumption is a common cause of fatty liver. Fat build up occurs within liver cells in a lot of people who regularly drink heavily. It is also known as fatty liver disease (FLD), steatorrhoeic hepatosis, or steatosis hepatitis. The treatment of fatty liver depends on what is causing it, and genera...

The choice? Is there a choice? -- to accept the craving for alcohol or controlling alcohol cravings. Photo by i_yudai (new window). There are some methods for controlling alcohol cravings. If they can be controlled, in theory, the alcoholic is no longer an alcoholic but a recovering alcoholic and eventually, at least potentially, will no longer be an alcoholic. I believe that every time the alcoholic beats a craving for alcohol he or she is retraining the brain to stop demanding it. It is the conscious controlling the subconscious. The retraining is a long process, of course. This is because the initial training (the slow process of becoming an alcoholic before " crossing the wire ") was also slow and to unlearn that takes a similar amount of time. I list some thoughts below on controlling alcoholic cravings. Ultimately, however, all these methods depend on the will and commitment of the alcoholic to exercise them at the right time. Awareness and discipline This confirms wha...

It is an up and down life - photo by prisonerjohn I guess we know that alcoholism is destructive but it came home to me today. Jane has been doing pretty well really. She still drinks but in a slightly more controlled way. Rather than binges every 2-3 weeks that last about a week to ten days with 3 weeks to recover including hospitalisation she was drinking secretly on the way back from work sometimes, getting home tipsy and going to bed very early and a bit drunk - not bad!. She was able to work like this. Some days she abstained. It is about as good as it can get. The stability was good for the household. There was predictability and a degree of reliability too. These are important factors in a relationship. They help to build the relationship and keep it on track. It was about half way to normal. But as always she screws up and has been on a binge for 3-4 days. Her job is on the line and it unravels all the constructive work in solidifying the relationship. Alcoholism is destructive...