A little snippet of info. Jane has never had a hangover, she says. Is that one reason why she drinks a bottle of vodka a day when she is binging? What I mean is that if you know you are going to suffer an almighty hangover it puts the brakes on the amount you drink.
They say that drinking vodka does not give you a hangover. By hangover I mean a headache. There are other symptoms but the headache is the main symptom.
Jane does suffer anxiety attacks after a binge and stomach ache. And she also feels very sick. She makes herself sick to stop feeling sick. It provides temporary relief. That is why I make her take valium (diazepam) 2 - 4 pills and molitium an anti-sickness pill (before she is sick for obvious reasons). These do the trick (just) if they are taken at the right time and the binge is not too long. The timing is important.
Photo: on Flickr creative commons by Toms Bauģis (modified by me)
Your account is amazing and disturbing (just having read every entry). I hope things are getting better. I also have experience and recognise many of your conflicts. I will comment properly soon, but just must say how much i admire your restraint and devotion, and hope you manage to always remember the person underneath that terrible alcoholic exterior, for the sake of your feelings more than Jane's. Don't leave yourself open to regrets, however irrational/unjust. Be kind to yourself and realistic, as well, of course.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment. I am quite laid back but have been pushed to the limit of my mental capacities. I can't live alone though, which motivates me. I love her too. Sounds mad. I love the person inside her underneath the alcoholism.
ReplyDeletewhen not under the influence, does Jane confide how best you can help her? Does she have insight into her own problem? Or is it something that can't be mentioned? I've read alot now, but can't understand how much “choice” an alcoholic has. For example you mentioned in your blog some time ago how she'd be in one drunken state one minute, and in a different “acting” state when the police and ambulance arrive and it all kicks off. Is she self-aware of this “act”? It seems like an improvisation (i've seen similar thing - and vice versa - myself in my experience) - or is this actually “her truth” at the time? Tons of sympathy & love to you and Jane - so many dilemas. Hope things are still calm. Yes - keep remembering the Jane underneath imo. Does anyone really know what's going on? (the same anon that posted feb 7)
ReplyDeleteNo when Jane is in a binge she is totally out of it. She can barely walk and can't think or speak properly. She has little real insight - one reason why she has failed to control it. Alcoholics are addicted to alcohol. She gets the pull and desires the rush as the neat vodka hits the brain. She'll be asleep about 30 mins afterwards. Jane can perform quite well when badly drunk. As the booze wears off she is still badly drunk but able to communicate and think. This is the time the ambulance comes as she is suffering the after effects of the binge. A good number of times the binge can be stopped with a hosp. visit. Alcoholics learn to lie and do it so often they are in denial of the truth. Fiction meets fact. Right now she is doing well...fingers crossed...
ReplyDeleteHangovers, like alcoholism are progressive. The mild (initial form) is the headache. Of course she suffers hangovers. Hangovers are a withdrawal symptom.
ReplyDeleteMy sister is, and acts a lot like Jane. Its truly scary how far in denial and lies they get. We tried to help her but she strung us along with promises of rehab, so many hospital visits, almost dying multiple times. She has never been honest with us about her problem. My father died of alcohol poisoning when I was 7 and my sister was 5. Sometimes it baffles me why she went down this road. She had the same childhood I did. She makes excuses and blames others. She lies, cheats and steals, and threatens my mother with violence, blackmail, anything she can to get her way. We can't deal with her anymore. I cut off contact long ago - I have a young daughter I need to protect.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for you, and I hope you can find the strength to help yourself(however that might be). You can't always help others.
It's interesting. How we're expected to help and actually get kudos for if a person pees himself in a wheelchair and needs our help when they have like lets say colon cancer or Alzheimers. We don't extend this loving temperment to alcoholics, cuz they are blamed for their condition. It's their fault in some way. But maybe that's why this (it's disease) label came about (even though I don't personally believe this, it's more of a mental condition. Their fault? I don't know of anyone that said for their lifetime goal 'I want to be an alcoholic.' But, like if my spouse got Parkinson's would I desert him? No, I shouldn't if I made my vows and nor should I desert my alcoholic spouse. Alcoholics have a bad rap through society and its easy to write them off. But would you write off your cancer stricken wife? Then you're a real bad boy. To me, at least there is a possibility of a positive outcome if you help an alcoholic. They / we / can be saved through love.
ReplyDeleteHi there. Just wanted to let u know that because of your blog, I stopped surprising my boyfriend with my binge drinking.how is everything on the homefront? You've been quiet.
ReplyDeleteFreddie, In your experience, in the cases of those unfortunate to have “crossed the wire”, is there still a reasonable element of self-control (I'm thinking mainly of the binge alcoholics) as to where and when they drink and “misbehave”? Thanks for your brilliant blog. I hope things are still good with you and Jane. Best wishes. (and a question for And So She Said above - How aware are you of the binge state when you are in it (or just before)? Do you call ambulances etc and what are you thinking when/if you do? Is it total confusion in your head? - good luck and best wishes.) bob b
ReplyDeleteBob b.- I have never called an ambulance, but the urge would strike me so quick and I had zero self control, I'd find myself only focusing on the alcohol. I didn't care one I was drunk. I'd scream ugly & hurtful things, never remembering the next day. My binges would last hours, not days.
DeleteFreddie? Where and how are you?
ReplyDeleteHi gigi. I am still here! Still surviving. Things have been not too bad which is why I haven't been posting. Not much to say. Things are a bit fragile. Jane had a small drink today and when she has had a drink, like anyone, she is horrible. I feel down today...the anonymous victim of an alcoholic.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear from you as I'm sure your other readers are as well. I'm glad it has been quiet, because I'm sure you need your breaks when you can get them. Its crazy how many women out there are going thru this kind of thing. I never thought I'd ever have a problem with alcohol, but I do. I truly hope for Janes sake and mine, we can somehow finally realize that we are just the kind of girls who can never drink again. I wish you and Jane all the best, and you are in my thoughts.
DeleteHi Gigi, it is a tough and never ending road really. It is a constant battle. And you know for every alcoholic there are many near alcoholics or people who don't consider themselves alcoholics but who are. I think life is getting more difficult not easier. It is getting more competitive that is for sure. I think also it is tough for young people in the west - Europe, North America etc at the moment and that can lead to drink problems. For ,e there is something fundamentally wrong with the human and the world that we created that leads us to want to get out.
ReplyDelete