Sunday, 30 March 2008

Alcoholic Partner

My Alcoholic Partner is getting better. There is hope for all victims of alcoholics. I have stuck by her because at heart I love her. I sometimes think that I am better than most other people - I am not. It's just my ego coming out. We are all flawed to varying degrees. I am no better than her but she is damaged (as am I).

For many years I had given up hope of her being "cured" of her alcoholism. I had grown to accept it as an inconvenience. Although it took about 8 years to get to that exalted state of mind. Of course you can only control alcoholism but it can be controlled permanently and I am beginning to think that she can do this. She has been sober for 90 days. I have said in earlier posts that I thought she was sneaking a drink while out running. This may be true but I am changing my mind on this.

The next hurdle will be to maintain discipline and keep going to AA after the initial 90 day period. We have agreed that she should keep going. At the moment she is looking for a job so when she gets work it will be harder and she may fall again. There will be falls and successes. In the end I feel that she may now win this battle.

Picture of Ben Hope copyright Harry Willis

Alcoholic Partner to AA spirituality

1 comment:

  1. I too married an alcoholic. I did not realize at the time that he was an alcoholic because my concept of an alcoholic was someone who drank all the time and could not work. This man was a functioning alcoholic. He worked every day. Anyone outside of his immediate family perceived him as the nicest person that you could ever meet. But to his family, he was a mean, vicious nightmare. Some of his behavior was predictable, but at the same time some was very unpredictable. I tried several times, with the help of his grown children, to get him into some kind of rehab program. I too loved him and wanted to help him. He refused to believe that he had a problem. I tried to leave him several times but he would stalk and harrass me on my job and would also harass anyone who tried to help me. I tolerated this for 22 years. In September 2006 he got violent with me and I left with nothing but the clothes that I had on. Four days later I got a call from one of his grown children ( from his first marriage ) and they needed me to come to the house that he and I owned. When I got there, I found that he has totally destroyed everything that we owned in a four day period. He had drank himself ino DT's and was out of his mind. He was no there because his son had called an ambulance to come for him. He dove through a bay window and cut himself badly. While in the hospital, his doctor and I once again tried to get him to go into rehab, but to no avail. I told him that since he would not seek help, I would not be back. Ater he was released from the hospital, he harrassed me for 5 months, night and day by telephone, stalking, etc. I was forced to relocate to another town 60 miles away. I filed for divorce and it was final in October 2007. I am still trying to heal emotionally from this. Please beware. You cannot help someone that refuses to help themselves.


I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.