The Diary of a Victim of an Alcoholic

More alcoholism chat .......It's time for a 4 day update. I'm still alive and so is she. She worked part-time last week and struggled not having had sufficient time to get over her last binge that she completed barely 2 days before restarting work after a long lay off (due indirectly to alcoholism). She needs a good 4 days minimum to get over a 5 day binge and it can take a lot more (3 weeks if she is hospitalized). Anyway, she struggled through and well done. Every time she comes through a binge (and sometimes I am not sure she will) she says that it will be the last. Do I believe her? Well, would you if she had being doing it for 25 years like clockwork? She has just finished cleaning/tidying her bedroom. This takes about 4 days usually as it looks like a old tramps hovel after a binge, full of spilt booze, wet duvet, wet sticky floor, vomit, biscuit fragments, curry bits, smelly buckets, broken glass, clothes, papers, pills and more pills............and the gruesome smell o...

Yep, Jane got back to work......just..on Wednesday last. She felt dizzy before going and looked weak and pale today, and very skinny. She is not eating well. She's lost weight. Some more idle alcoholism chat. After a binge it takes a good 4 days really to get back on her feet. Lying in bed in the dark and drinking vodka out of a bottle at a good rate for 5-9 days takes a bit of getting over. Anyway, good for her. I'm pleased she made it. I hope she continues to go to work and build up her strength by eating. Yes, just eating. Not a biscuit here or there or a bowl of soup for dinner but something solid and calorific to provide energy. She was off for about 4 months and didn't once go to AA, which helped her last time she went. Next mission: get her to go back to AA. It is a never ending battle. I have said that once you have "crossed the wire" you never get back. Some, a very small percentage do. But it takes time. As long as it took to get to the wire and cross it...

level vodka by Andrew Ebrahim Just a bit of alcoholism chat . From an SEO point of view I am not sure whether to call the post "alcoholic chat" or "alcoholism chat". It should be the latter I think. Jane starts work tomorrow. She is up and about but very fragile, huffing and puffing, shuffling and disappearing into her bunker. She said she would make work (while she going through the binge). She is able to think quite lucidly during a large binge sometimes as she tends to have mini pauses when the booze wears off a bit. She then almost stops, decides she doesn't like the real world and goes back down into the black abyss one more time, out of it all, in her parallel universe of never ending dozing but never sleeping, lying on the bed in the darkness for hour after hour, day after day, amongst the extreme mess of bottles and waste food surrounding her. You hear the occasional rustling of plastic bags and the clinking of bottles, the unscrewing of screw tops and t...

This Alcoholic chat is dedicated to Lindsey a recovering alcoholic who I think will make it back to the true and harsh world. I can understand alcoholism. Although I am not an alcoholic, when I was a lawyer, the work load drove me to the comfort of booze. That gorgeous moment when it all floats away. I needed it. I welcomed it. It was good. A lot of lawyers fall foul of the booze. It is only human. For me though once I have had about half a bottle of wine or a bit more, I start to feel the need to stop as the enjoyment goes and I start to feel the downside already. I kind of feel the future and I know that it will be bad if I continue. I nearly always don't take any pain killers if I have a hangover to remind me of the pain. To teach me that the reward of alcohol is false and transient. It is after all a learning process. We learn to like it for the reward it brings. The short term reward and humans are very good at short term reward. Look at the financial mess we are in. This tur...

Yep, more alcoholic chat because a kind soul said he/she missed my blog - thanks for that. Jane is still recovering from the appendix operation she shouldn't have had (see botched operation - alcoholism kills ). Her recovery is taking for ever. Her expectations for recovery were misplaced by incorrect information given by a nurse. Some of the nurses in UK hospitals have lost or were never taught how to provide customer care. Anyway back to good ole booze. Jane continues to drink from time to time while recovering from her appendix operation that went wrong. This slows recovery plus she is lazy. Sorry but it is true. She is scheduled to restart work in about 3 weeks and she'll need retraining. I am p**sed off because she drank her usual neat Vodka over the weekend, ruining Sunday, abandoning me and asking if I have forgiven her. I said yes but meant no. At least she realized the severity of the downside if she started a real 7 day binge. No job (possible), no me (probable - is ...