Monday, 16 February 2009

Victims of Alcoholics Need to Talk

Photo by Mexicanwave

Victims of Alcoholics Need to Talk or write about their experiences. Not long ago I went to Al-anon. I don't go now. Perhaps it was the wrong group for me. I found that I sensed from the silent reaction of the others that I was either saying too much and/or it was too near the bone; I was too outspoken for that group. It wasn't benign and passive enough. Fair enough, but I like to talk the truth, to express my feelings and vocalize what I think I have learned. Some of it will be wrong and some right but expressing ourselves is important to relieve stress levels, which are likely to be higher in victims of alcoholics, that is, people who are not alcoholics who are living with alcoholics.

The idea of talking about one's problems as a means to dissipate them is, after all, well known and is supported by recently released research carried out at the University of California. Apparently writing about a bad experience (as I am doing in this blog) is often cathartic and it can reduce stress by helping the brain to control regions that process negative emotions.

Stress control is one reason why we have an impulse to verbalize and express ourselves. It happens naturally. I will use this research to justify this blog! This blog has two functions (a) it helps to control the stress caused by living with Jane's alcoholism and (b) it might throw some light on the causes of alcoholism and the damage it causes to people associated with the alcoholic.

Victims of Alcoholics Need to Talk to Codependency


  1. Good Morning, Freddie (at least, it's morning here). Your posts are always so interesting. I'm in the banking industry and am in contact with people constantly and I can say for sure people definitely do need to talk. They tell me the most intimate details of their lives sometimes.

    I believe this is due to the fact that Al-anon and AA are no way anonymous, at least not in this small town. Everyone talks and everyone judges. Perhaps in London this isn't the case but here if you show up at a meeting, the whole town knows and you are instantly labeled. This can affect every facet of someone's life both on a personal level as well as professional. Therefore, people will confide to perfect strangers. Very interesting.

    Your friend in Pennsylvania,


  2. Hi Linda, You are definitely a good listener! And, I think, a good person. London is very cosmopolitan and diverse, it is easy to become invisible. I am a little surprised that people who are probably your clients talk to you. But that said, money and its use is inextricably tied up with emotion and relationships so maybe it is not surprising. And investing money is about risk and risk is based on one's emotional response to it. That is liable to elicit a personal discussion to a good listener. Thanks for the comment Linda.


I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.