Skip to main content

Victims of Alcoholics Need to Talk


Photo by Mexicanwave

Victims of Alcoholics Need to Talk or write about their experiences. Not long ago I went to Al-anon. I don't go now. Perhaps it was the wrong group for me. I found that I sensed from the silent reaction of the others that I was either saying too much and/or it was too near the bone; I was too outspoken for that group. It wasn't benign and passive enough. Fair enough, but I like to talk the truth, to express my feelings and vocalize what I think I have learned. Some of it will be wrong and some right but expressing ourselves is important to relieve stress levels, which are likely to be higher in victims of alcoholics, that is, people who are not alcoholics who are living with alcoholics.

The idea of talking about one's problems as a means to dissipate them is, after all, well known and is supported by recently released research carried out at the University of California. Apparently writing about a bad experience (as I am doing in this blog) is often cathartic and it can reduce stress by helping the brain to control regions that process negative emotions.

Stress control is one reason why we have an impulse to verbalize and express ourselves. It happens naturally. I will use this research to justify this blog! This blog has two functions (a) it helps to control the stress caused by living with Jane's alcoholism and (b) it might throw some light on the causes of alcoholism and the damage it causes to people associated with the alcoholic.

Victims of Alcoholics Need to Talk to Codependency
Labels:

Comments

  1. Anonymous17 February 2009 at 06:21

    Good Morning, Freddie (at least, it's morning here). Your posts are always so interesting. I'm in the banking industry and am in contact with people constantly and I can say for sure people definitely do need to talk. They tell me the most intimate details of their lives sometimes.

    I believe this is due to the fact that Al-anon and AA are no way anonymous, at least not in this small town. Everyone talks and everyone judges. Perhaps in London this isn't the case but here if you show up at a meeting, the whole town knows and you are instantly labeled. This can affect every facet of someone's life both on a personal level as well as professional. Therefore, people will confide to perfect strangers. Very interesting.

    Your friend in Pennsylvania,

    Linda

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous8 February 2011 at 12:00

    Hi Linda, You are definitely a good listener! And, I think, a good person. London is very cosmopolitan and diverse, it is easy to become invisible. I am a little surprised that people who are probably your clients talk to you. But that said, money and its use is inextricably tied up with emotion and relationships so maybe it is not surprising. And investing money is about risk and risk is based on one's emotional response to it. That is liable to elicit a personal discussion to a good listener. Thanks for the comment Linda.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.

Popular posts from this blog

Alcoholism and Death

photo copyright crowolf published under a creative commons license kindly granted. These 2 ignominiously go together - Alcoholism and Death . Just after Jane's mini-binge (believe me it was a very minor binge by her standards) of about 20 hours she felt, as usual, suicidal. Jane always feels huge remorse and regret after a binge. She feels bad about letting herself down and bad about messing me around (although it wasn't that bad to be honest - it did though mess up what could have been some time together, which we are lacking at the moment due to work). Jane really does genuinely feel suicidal after a binge. But I must say I don't think she'll ever do it. She hasn't got the courage - I know that sounds horrendously cruel etc etc but this blog is about the plain truth unvarnished. It takes courage to kill yourself and a lots of despair. Jane has the one but not the other. Anyway to get more positive. We had a little talk and I in my usual style, mentioned...
67 comments
Read more

Alcoholism is a Disease

1904 Advertisement I have always wondered if alcoholism is a disease . Is this just some sort of idea someone dreamed up years ago as a method to make a buck. You know it could have been that way. People think diseases are either curable or that the symptoms can be controlled to an extent where the person can live pretty normally. The signal sent to alcoholics by the idea that alcoholism is a disease is, "I can be cured by a pill" or "there is hope". And they go off and search for a cure to this mysterious disease...... It may be a disease, though. What is the definition of "disease"? It is an abnormal condition that impairs bodily functions with accompanying symptoms (after Wikipedia). Or here is another definition: An alteration of the state of the body or parts of it interrupting normal function (mine after ThinkExist.com). These are broad definitions. We usually think of diseases as say a virus that infects us and causes illness; the common cold is t...
28 comments
Read more

Living With An Alcoholic

Here is what it is like Living With An Alcoholic . Whatever a normal relationship might mean, it doesn't exist. It is snuffed out by the dreaded Mr V (vodka). One of the first things that comes to mind is that alcoholics are known to be unreliable and just plain liars. And I am not being critical of alcoholics. I am just describing the facts. Alcoholism drives the alcoholic to lie and deceive. It becomes a way of life. And broken promises abound. Promises to change and stop. These are all well intentioned but can never be kept until the alcoholic is what AA calls a recovering alcoholic. Recovering alcoholics are alcoholics who are able, for the time being, to control their alcoholism. It is as good as it can get for them and their partner. So living with an alcoholic is a very fragile existence, the relationship always undermined by a breach of trust or a potential breach of trust. Then there are the rows. These occur during the binge drinking or continuous drinking (if the alcohol...
38 comments
Read more