Skip to main content

Update from a victim of an alcoholic

Look, I know that it is a bit extreme to call myself a "victim" as I put myself here. But it is not all about free choice. The emotional ties are strong. You are in a very difficult place when you get stuck with an alcoholic. You know you have to leave but you find it very difficult.

However, as I said, I am leaving because it is the right thing to do - hard though it is.

I am buying my own home. I am struggling with this because it is sh*t buying a place in London, England. It is competitive and very expensive and....I could go on.

I expect to be out of here in about a month or two. Then this diary will become something different.

I intend to still see Jane but not as an alcoholic lying in her filth. I want to see only the good bits of her and only have the nice experiences.

I feel depressed about it and worried about it all. I must go on. It is the only way forward.

Comments

  1. freddie fox I am the daughter of an alcoholic I am begging you LEAVE take that step and GO think of yourself be selfish but not in a bad way you have put yourself last and her first LOVE does that, PURE.. DESTRUCTIVE LOVE. but you must also think wheres the love to yourself? find the person you've lost the man you are truely the man you were and give yourself a chance at happiness My mother is my fathers prisoner he abuses her emotionally he abuses all of us emotionally but there is the day and i pray for that day to come and im pushing for that day to come when you say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH LOVE YOURSELF CARE FOR YOURSELF LOVE JANE BY NOT ENABALING HER LOVE HER BY LEAVING HER AND LET YOURSELF HEAL HEAL THAT CUT THAT IS DEEP IN THE HEART IN THE SOUL AND SLOWLY YOU'LL SEE HAPPINESS YOU'LL RID YOURSELF OF THAT DEPRESSION LOVE YOURSELF FREDDIE FOX

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am considering the same step this June. Taking both my children to stay with family for a summer vacation or possibly a year. Depends how I feel while out there. Somehow it feels right. I hope so. Good luck to you.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.

Popular posts from this blog

Alcoholism and Death

photo copyright crowolf published under a creative commons license kindly granted. These 2 ignominiously go together - Alcoholism and Death . Just after Jane's mini-binge (believe me it was a very minor binge by her standards) of about 20 hours she felt, as usual, suicidal. Jane always feels huge remorse and regret after a binge. She feels bad about letting herself down and bad about messing me around (although it wasn't that bad to be honest - it did though mess up what could have been some time together, which we are lacking at the moment due to work). Jane really does genuinely feel suicidal after a binge. But I must say I don't think she'll ever do it. She hasn't got the courage - I know that sounds horrendously cruel etc etc but this blog is about the plain truth unvarnished. It takes courage to kill yourself and a lots of despair. Jane has the one but not the other. Anyway to get more positive. We had a little talk and I in my usual style, mentioned...

Alcoholism is a Disease

1904 Advertisement I have always wondered if alcoholism is a disease . Is this just some sort of idea someone dreamed up years ago as a method to make a buck. You know it could have been that way. People think diseases are either curable or that the symptoms can be controlled to an extent where the person can live pretty normally. The signal sent to alcoholics by the idea that alcoholism is a disease is, "I can be cured by a pill" or "there is hope". And they go off and search for a cure to this mysterious disease...... It may be a disease, though. What is the definition of "disease"? It is an abnormal condition that impairs bodily functions with accompanying symptoms (after Wikipedia). Or here is another definition: An alteration of the state of the body or parts of it interrupting normal function (mine after ThinkExist.com). These are broad definitions. We usually think of diseases as say a virus that infects us and causes illness; the common cold is t...

Living With An Alcoholic

Here is what it is like Living With An Alcoholic . Whatever a normal relationship might mean, it doesn't exist. It is snuffed out by the dreaded Mr V (vodka). One of the first things that comes to mind is that alcoholics are known to be unreliable and just plain liars. And I am not being critical of alcoholics. I am just describing the facts. Alcoholism drives the alcoholic to lie and deceive. It becomes a way of life. And broken promises abound. Promises to change and stop. These are all well intentioned but can never be kept until the alcoholic is what AA calls a recovering alcoholic. Recovering alcoholics are alcoholics who are able, for the time being, to control their alcoholism. It is as good as it can get for them and their partner. So living with an alcoholic is a very fragile existence, the relationship always undermined by a breach of trust or a potential breach of trust. Then there are the rows. These occur during the binge drinking or continuous drinking (if the alcohol...