Having an alcoholic partner who is perhaps in recovery (optimistic?) means that I get to discuss Jane's AA meetings. Once upon a time many years ago she said that she didn't find AA useful and that it didn't suit her.
Since I pushed her to try again (yeh I'm boasting a bit) and since she participates (I push her on that too) she has found it a bit of a life line.
AA can work I think if the people attending both give and receive in equal amounts. The whole arrangement is then in balance. Also, giving is probably a more effective healing process for the alcoholic as it boosts the self-esteem which in invariably very low. It makes you feel more important if others rely on you.
Jane has through her discussion with other recovered alcoholics at AA meetings begun to look at herself and her behavior as an alcoholic. It is really great to realize that she is being told things by other participants the same things that I have told her. This is making her think about herself and her actions. It seems that this is happening for the first time in her life.
We all tend to think we are better then we are. There was a time when I thought I was a nice person :) You realise that we are all good and bad. Jane is getting the message and her behavior has improved. She used to be extremely argumentative and provocative (and she wouldn't let you finish your sentence).
Things are changing. Try AA and participate, above all give to others and feel good about yourself. It helps in the struggle to stop.
Photo copyright and By Demona
From Alcoholic Parter to Alcoholic Chat