Saturday, 6 December 2008
Lets pray for Jane - photo by Lush.i.ous
Jane's alcoholic behavior is destroying her or maybe she died 45 years ago. Today, this evening, I am worried again for Jane. I am more concerned than I have ever been for her welfare, her survival. She has been on an alcoholic binge by my estimation since about November 23rd or so. She stopped yesterday. All that was pretty normal. She spent about 10 days on her bed in her bedroom surrounded by her bits and pieces, mess, food, empty bottles etc. sleeping, blind drunk.
She did as she is told/suggested/advised (yes by me because it has to be that way) when she came down from the binge; she took some Valium (diazepam) to calm herself down and to prevent hyperventilating. She also took some anti-sickness pills (Motilium).
She was gradually beginning to re-enter the real world and then decided to go back. She turned around and went back. She found some more Vodka. Drank that, not much by her standards (I am guessing this as she sounded drunk again). I also found a small empty bottle of Vodka on the bed.
She refused to get up. She was just fit enough to get some food for herself but asked me to get it. I got a toasted sandwich. She ate it. She asked for pen and paper. She wanted to write a good bye note. She didn't do it. I talked quite a lot to her to try and cheer her up. She was not too receptive.
When I went out she took a couple of sleeping pills before I could stop her. I took her pills (the ones I could find) off her. Her taking the pills was actually a good thing as it has put her to sleep. She was asking for more Vodka and I refused this time as it had gone on far enough and she has work to get back to in the near future. If she had remained awake she would probably have gone out to get some more booze and I can't stop her doing that. Sometimes I decide to get some Vodka if she asks (she more or less insists, in fact) for her because if I don't she will walk to the shops. In her state that is very dangerous in terms of the risk of being mugged, accidents, anything bad could happen. I have to protect her from those risks.
She is sleeping right now, very drowsy. I am on a kind of watch. Watching and waiting. She is alright right now; just sleeping. But she is depressed, perhaps more than usual. I'll check regularly. If it looks bad, uncertain, difficult, I'll call an ambulance.
She has missed her holiday entirely. She binged through it. She had planned to go away for a few days. Her alcoholic behavior destroys everything. We can't go on holiday together because she gets drunk and getting drunk (her style, comatose) in a strange place is worse than getting drunk at home. We can't eat out as she gets drunk and in any case she doesn't like food enough. She can't look after my cat as she can't look after herself.
Lets pray for her tonight.
Photo published under creative commons license:
From Alcoholic Behavior to Stages of Alcoholism is Jane in the last stages of alcoholism?