Alcoholism Behavior

Jane drank a glass of wine with me in a normal way today for the first time.........photo by lanier67

Alcoholism behavior is unpredictable and that proved the case this Christmas. Linda asked how Christmas 2008 went. Well, I am pleased to say it went well. Yep, it actually is still going well and it is hard to believe. She promised me that she wouldn't drink and she hasn't as far as I can see. Well that is not quite true in fact. As I was drinking some wine, she actually asked me if I could pour her some wine too. That I think is a first. As I said she always drinks alone and secretly. I have never seen her drink. I have said to her before a number of times, if she could drink more normally, I might be able to exercise some control over it or Jane might be able to exercise more control.

It would be normalising drinking, making less of a guilt ridden dark secret of drinking and joining the rest of the world. This I had hoped would help to curb the horrendous binges. And for the first time she has drunk normally and in front of me. And she stopped normally afterwards.

OK, good stuff and it feels good. But lets not get carried away. No, definitely not. Alcoholic behavior is very unpredictable. Jane may just have a binge tomorrow for all I know. This though is very unlikely as I sense she is settled at the moment. I wonder whether this is about one thing.

For some time we have been sleeping in separate rooms (and I don't mind admitting this) for a number of practical reasons; one major one being that she binges in bed for 10 days on a frequent basis and during that time it would be impossible to sleep in the same bed or room as her. That would mean constantly moving out and returning. However, last night I slept with her. Maybe the two events are linked (i.e. drinking a small glass of wine with me in a controlled way and sleeping together). Common sense says that they are. What do you guys think? Is this something about alcoholism behavior I should know about? Is greater warmth from me an aid to stopping binging. Probably, yes. But it's hard when she binges. What comes first?

Thanks for asking about me Linda.

Alcoholism Signs For Family

If a person regularly falls asleep just after breakfast she is possibly an alcoholic. This is because she has had more than a stiff drink early in the morning. Although, alcoholism signs for the family are hard to spot in my experience. What is my experience? It's being the partner and now (2008) a "live in partner" of an alcoholic for about 9 years. Update: I am still her partner but no longer living with her in 2024 which is 16 years after this page was first written! The first section of this article is by me based on experience. The second part is by Bing's Co-pilot after researching the internet. At the end of the article are some pointers as to whether the person in question is an alcoholic. When I first met Jane I didn't know that she was an alcoholic. At that moment in time I was an innocent to the world of alcoholism. It took me about 3 months to realize that she was an alcoholic. What lead me to this revelation? When I didn't know she was an alcohol

Alcoholism and Death

photo copyright crowolf published under a creative commons license kindly granted. These 2 ignominiously go together - Alcoholism and Death . Just after Jane's mini-binge (believe me it was a very minor binge by her standards) of about 20 hours she felt, as usual, suicidal. Jane always feels huge remorse and regret after a binge. She feels bad about letting herself down and bad about messing me around (although it wasn't that bad to be honest - it did though mess up what could have been some time together, which we are lacking at the moment due to work). Jane really does genuinely feel suicidal after a binge. But I must say I don't think she'll ever do it. She hasn't got the courage - I know that sounds horrendously cruel etc etc but this blog is about the plain truth unvarnished. It takes courage to kill yourself and a lots of despair. Jane has the one but not the other. Anyway to get more positive. We had a little talk and I in my usual style, mentioned

Alcoholism is a Disease

1904 Advertisement I have always wondered if alcoholism is a disease . Is this just some sort of idea someone dreamed up years ago as a method to make a buck. You know it could have been that way. People think diseases are either curable or that the symptoms can be controlled to an extent where the person can live pretty normally. The signal sent to alcoholics by the idea that alcoholism is a disease is, "I can be cured by a pill" or "there is hope". And they go off and search for a cure to this mysterious disease...... It may be a disease, though. What is the definition of "disease"? It is an abnormal condition that impairs bodily functions with accompanying symptoms (after Wikipedia). Or here is another definition: An alteration of the state of the body or parts of it interrupting normal function (mine after ThinkExist.com). These are broad definitions. We usually think of diseases as say a virus that infects us and causes illness; the common cold is t

Anonymous27 December 2008 at 14:01
o.k., my friend freddy, your jane wants to be what you need but alcoholism isn't a faucet one turns on and off. once the line is crossed, we get worse, never better. yes, we can play a part from time to time because we basically don't understand why we do what we do. we're tormented by our actions and we would love nothing more than to be what 'society' calls "normal". but we are not and never, ever, will be capable of going backwards into the "normal" drinking of yore. God knows, i so tried. like jane, i could do what she did when so desperately pushed to the brink--as it were. but, freddy, i couldn't sustain it. i'm an alcoholic and my drinking, my desolation, my decline, will continue on. with or without any our good intentions. do not drink with your jane. she is dying. i say that in the way of the broken-hearted toward a sister that has a foot firmly in the next world. as i type this, i am crying for the two of you.

this is a life or death disease and we die more often than not. me? i am dying still. you see, a simple amount of sobriety does not change much and to you and all my friends, i find myself losing ground. no matter how i wish it were not so. i want to live--i think--but i don't know what it is i need to do. i'm lost. sober but lost in a loneliness few can imagine.

i often wonder should i die would anyone ever remember i was was..... i once mattered. and dreams? somewhere, way back in the pit of memory, i had a few.....

forgive me my negativity. because even a woman destroyed at such a baby age understands miracles. may God shine a light for you that will light up the world......so help me God. devon
Anonymous27 December 2008 at 15:46
I kind of get where you are coming from Freddy, but to be honest it's probably the scaling down of the drinking that allows for some of the intimacy of a relationship to return albeit only briefly and not the other way round. At least that's how it seems to work in my house. Whatever, enjoy it while it lasts and if getting closer prolongs the remission then great. Good luck mate.
Michael Broad LLB, ARPS27 December 2008 at 23:31
Hi, You guys are dead right of course. I'm just looking for something. But nothing is there.

Actually, she's back on (never left it) the sauce and I am p*ss*d off. I'm going to leave, had enough. See the latest post:

Time to Leave

Freddie

The Diary of a Victim of an Alcoholic

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