Skip to main content

Al Anon Meeting


"Yes, well, when she's on a binge it's pure hell. There is mess everywhere.......Am I boring you? What's the first step, Charlie, I've forgotten...............photo by maury.mccown

I went to my first Al-Anon meeting yesterday evening. I had resisted going to one because I felt that there was little chance of it being useful. I can't, obviously, talk about details but I can talk about it generally and how it went for me.

It was useful, however. For me, the usefulness comes from being able to express ones anger, sadness and frustration openly. I would never talk to my relations like I talked to the group yesterday. This helps off load pent up emotions. In my case anger. Anger not so much that Jane can mess up my life but anger at myself for being what I am in having to live with her.

I don't subscribe to the higher power thing, which is part of the AA and Al Anon concept. But despite that, it still works to a degree because it is the only place, for some people, where one can really express oneself on this subject.

I was surprised that some people at the Al Anon meeting are alcoholics themselves. In other word both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics. I think this is called co-dependency. One alcoholic feeds off the other.

Incidentally, and I think I am permitted to say this, I was the only male there. I don't know if that presented a problem for the others. Without me it would have been a women's thing. Women together probably talk differently even though it was a formal meeting. So, perhaps they were disappointed that I turned up! Not sure, I doubt that but it may have some truth, particularly as they have all suffered at the hands of men, alcoholic men. Maybe they have learnt to hate men and I was boring them with a long monologue about my trials and tribulations.

I had plenty of opportunity to speak and used it. I'll have to be cautious that I don't overdo it as it will p*ss them off. To be honest, I think I understand the ideas and concepts of Al-Anon. It is largely about oneself, the victim of the alcoholic who has to deal with their partner's or relative's drinking in a way that allows him/her to live as normally as possible.

We didn't do any steps thing. We just kicked off by dealing with an aspect of the problems of living with an alcoholic, after we had a chance to introduce ourselves and our feelings.

I'll be going back as I felt better after the meeting. I felt more motivated to do ordinary things. That probably came about because of the off-loading of the anger etc. It de-burdens the brain of that poison for a while. I'd say that the Al Anon meeting was successful as a whole.

Al Anon meeting to Alcoholic Partner Chat

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Alcoholism Signs For Family

If a person regularly falls asleep just after breakfast she is possibly an alcoholic. This is because she has had more than a stiff drink early in the morning. Although, alcoholism signs for the family are hard to spot in my experience. What is my experience? It's being the partner and now (2008) a "live in partner" of an alcoholic for about 9 years. Update: I am still her partner but no longer living with her in 2024 which is 16 years after this page was first written! The first section of this article is by me based on experience. The second part is by Bing's Co-pilot after researching the internet. At the end of the article are some pointers as to whether the person in question is an alcoholic. When I first met Jane I didn't know that she was an alcoholic. At that moment in time I was an innocent to the world of alcoholism. It took me about 3 months to realize that she was an alcoholic. What lead me to this revelation? When I didn't know she was an alcohol...

Alcoholism and Death

photo copyright crowolf published under a creative commons license kindly granted. These 2 ignominiously go together - Alcoholism and Death . Just after Jane's mini-binge (believe me it was a very minor binge by her standards) of about 20 hours she felt, as usual, suicidal. Jane always feels huge remorse and regret after a binge. She feels bad about letting herself down and bad about messing me around (although it wasn't that bad to be honest - it did though mess up what could have been some time together, which we are lacking at the moment due to work). Jane really does genuinely feel suicidal after a binge. But I must say I don't think she'll ever do it. She hasn't got the courage - I know that sounds horrendously cruel etc etc but this blog is about the plain truth unvarnished. It takes courage to kill yourself and a lots of despair. Jane has the one but not the other. Anyway to get more positive. We had a little talk and I in my usual style, mentioned...

Living With An Alcoholic

Here is what it is like Living With An Alcoholic . Whatever a normal relationship might mean, it doesn't exist. It is snuffed out by the dreaded Mr V (vodka). One of the first things that comes to mind is that alcoholics are known to be unreliable and just plain liars. And I am not being critical of alcoholics. I am just describing the facts. Alcoholism drives the alcoholic to lie and deceive. It becomes a way of life. And broken promises abound. Promises to change and stop. These are all well intentioned but can never be kept until the alcoholic is what AA calls a recovering alcoholic. Recovering alcoholics are alcoholics who are able, for the time being, to control their alcoholism. It is as good as it can get for them and their partner. So living with an alcoholic is a very fragile existence, the relationship always undermined by a breach of trust or a potential breach of trust. Then there are the rows. These occur during the binge drinking or continuous drinking (if the alcohol...