Diary of a Victim of Alcoholism

Diary of a Victim of Alcoholism - Don't drink and drive - Jane didn't good on her. She made the decision while drunk this morning when about to go to work. Photograph copyright beara255 published under a creative commons license.

This is a continuation of the previous post; yesterday, when I came back from work she was zonked.............

She had three half bottles of Vodka on the floor beside the bed, one empty bottle of wine on the floor, one empty bottle of wine on the bed and one smashed bottle of mulled wine (from Christmas) on the kitchen floor. And when I'd said to her that she was drinking, the day before, (just before she went to bed) she said PROVE IT!..........We just proved it I reckon.

She got out of bed in the early evening when the booze had worn off a bit looking for more in the kitchen. I was watching TV. I said I thought she'd better stop if she wanted to go to work today. She actually listened to me! And stopped. She had worked hard to get the job and it is quite a good job so I guess she realized she just had to bite the bullet and stop. Which I think proves a point that she can exercise some control when sufficiently motivated but my God it is rare for something to sufficiently motivate her to stop her drinking. You can take from me, the person who writes this Diary of a Victim of Alcoholism.

The next problem yesterday was whether she would sober up in time for work today. I am writing this after she went to work. She took public transport as she was probably still over the drink driving limit (probably well over in fact).

Jane was extremely upset as always after this min-binge. She feels very guilty and suicidal after a binge. After a big one lasting several days or more she is even more suicidal and needs hospitalization.

Anyway, I hope she can cope with the work OK as she was still drunk when she went to work. She was bound to be as she had drunk a lot, perhaps the equivalent of at least 4 bottles of wine yesterday. Of course she is used to it.

She realizes that she has lost the big flat panel TV I had promised her if she stayed sober. That is another thing to depress her. But the promise was there to motivate and if you go back it loses its purpose. That said I have lost that motivator. What to do now to motivate her?

She is going to see her AA sponsor asap. She had planned to go to AA yesterday and one of her fellow AA colleagues had phoned to go with her.

The work stresses her and she needs a release after work like anyone else. The difference is she starts of with neat Vodka from the bottle and doesn't know when to stop.

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