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24th December 2007

Well, yesterday pretty well panned out as expected. All my pushing a shoving her to do something, to get up and stop drinking produced next to nothing as I know it will.

I pulled back her duvet cover. Two bottles. One an empty wine bottle. Chateaux Neuf Du Pape she had bought me for Christmas - empty. The other a strong beer bottle - empty. Drunk in the space of about 4 hours. This is very light by her standards.

Flash back to evening of 23rd: Duvet pulled back - half drunk bottle of Vodka tucked under her like a comfort blanket. I took it and hid it knowing that it was a waste of time as there will be more somewhere.

Today 24th: time 07:45. She is still drunk but makes me a cut of tea. She looks drunk and unsteady. I can smell marzipan in the air (the smell on the breath). She goes back to bed. I say,"I'll ever forgive you for this". I pull the duvet back. One bottle of Vodka 3/4 drunk beside her.

I ask. "What shall I do for Christmas?" She, as usual, barely talks but says, "wait" (meaning she'll be alright for Christmas). Only we are already at Christmas as the holiday period has started.

I leave the bottle with her - no point taking it - there'll be other somewhere else, hidden.

Timmy, our stray cat, comes in about 7:30 and my alcoholic partner feeds him. She can function fairly well with 3/4 bottle of Vodka inside her.

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