Friday, 23 January 2009

Currently All Is Well


All is Well - or is it? Just a matter of time...photo by Denis Collette...!!!

After the last horrendous binge (11 days) and the aftermath (hospital 1 week, still off work 3 weeks later - is it 3 weeks?, I lose track), I had a serious talk with Jane about moving out. I really have come to the end of the line. It will be difficult on an emotional and practical level but the agonies of living with Jane when she is drunk has made up my mind.

At the moment all is well. After telling Jane my serious thoughts she became more helpful etc. etc. after shedding a tear or two. Jane is currently sober. For how long? It is genuinely sad. I don't want to live alone and I have settled here. I know the area. I have routines etc. But leaving is really is something that I must do as all the visitors have made clear. OK, no one has said "leave" but they say so in so many words. And I have said I am going to leave after each binge and don't - pathetic.

Anyway I won't bore people. Jane is sober. I am leaving and the next binge will (should ) push me to actually do it. I am actually making some moves. Searching for a place to live and advertising etc. so this seems real. Sometimes I don't know myself if I will do what I say and that hurts as I make a point of doing what I say under normal circumstances.

Currently All is Well to Stages of Alcoholism

2 comments:

  1. This had me thinking about one of my past relationships, and what it was like getting out. There is always some reason or two why people in a bad relationship stay in it. Then there is a catalyst for the person who is fed up or needs more to finally leave. In my case, I usually got along with this boyfriend, but the fights we had and his insecurities were so intense and made me miserable (he was very controlling and jealous). I finally broke it off when he went to another country to celebrate New Years without me (double standard, there). It's always hard tying up the looe ends, so to speak, afterwards. It requires persuasion resistant armor and a series of right decisions.

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  2. Hi cosufferer, I kind of know that I will leave one day. It's just how and when. Thanks for the comment.

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I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.