Saturday, 10 January 2009
Victims Live With Death
As a victim of an alcoholic I live with the possibility of the death of the alcoholic that I am living with. Jane was in a fetal position for long periods during the last binge of some 11 days and 11 bottles of neat vodka. It is like living in a slow motion car crash. It is traumatic. It is unnerving. It is something we should not travel through. Jane is now in hospital because she could not control the sickness after the last 11 day binge. The whole experience was, as usual, traumatic and I don't want to live through it again. It damages me. I become used to it. I lose compassion. I learn to hate. I learn to disregard. And in doing so I lose a bit of me.