Skip to main content

Currently All Is Well


All is Well - or is it? Just a matter of time...photo by Denis Collette...!!!

After the last horrendous binge (11 days) and the aftermath (hospital 1 week, still off work 3 weeks later - is it 3 weeks?, I lose track), I had a serious talk with Jane about moving out. I really have come to the end of the line. It will be difficult on an emotional and practical level but the agonies of living with Jane when she is drunk has made up my mind.

At the moment all is well. After telling Jane my serious thoughts she became more helpful etc. etc. after shedding a tear or two. Jane is currently sober. For how long? It is genuinely sad. I don't want to live alone and I have settled here. I know the area. I have routines etc. But leaving is really is something that I must do as all the visitors have made clear. OK, no one has said "leave" but they say so in so many words. And I have said I am going to leave after each binge and don't - pathetic.

Anyway I won't bore people. Jane is sober. I am leaving and the next binge will (should ) push me to actually do it. I am actually making some moves. Searching for a place to live and advertising etc. so this seems real. Sometimes I don't know myself if I will do what I say and that hurts as I make a point of doing what I say under normal circumstances.

Currently All is Well to Stages of Alcoholism

Labels

Labels:

Comments

  1. Anonymous23 January 2009 at 16:38

    This had me thinking about one of my past relationships, and what it was like getting out. There is always some reason or two why people in a bad relationship stay in it. Then there is a catalyst for the person who is fed up or needs more to finally leave. In my case, I usually got along with this boyfriend, but the fights we had and his insecurities were so intense and made me miserable (he was very controlling and jealous). I finally broke it off when he went to another country to celebrate New Years without me (double standard, there). It's always hard tying up the looe ends, so to speak, afterwards. It requires persuasion resistant armor and a series of right decisions.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Michael Broad LLB, ARPS24 January 2009 at 12:46

    Hi cosufferer, I kind of know that I will leave one day. It's just how and when. Thanks for the comment.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.

Popular posts from this blog

Alcoholism Signs For Family

If a person regularly falls asleep just after breakfast she is possibly an alcoholic. This is because she has had more than a stiff drink early in the morning. Although, alcoholism signs for the family are hard to spot in my experience. What is my experience? It's being the partner and now (2008) a "live in partner" of an alcoholic for about 9 years. Update: I am still her partner but no longer living with her in 2024 which is 16 years after this page was first written! The first section of this article is by me based on experience. The second part is by Bing's Co-pilot after researching the internet. At the end of the article are some pointers as to whether the person in question is an alcoholic. When I first met Jane I didn't know that she was an alcoholic. At that moment in time I was an innocent to the world of alcoholism. It took me about 3 months to realize that she was an alcoholic. What lead me to this revelation? When I didn't know she was an alcohol...
Post a Comment
Read more

Living With An Alcoholic

Here is what it is like Living With An Alcoholic . Whatever a normal relationship might mean, it doesn't exist. It is snuffed out by the dreaded Mr V (vodka). One of the first things that comes to mind is that alcoholics are known to be unreliable and just plain liars. And I am not being critical of alcoholics. I am just describing the facts. Alcoholism drives the alcoholic to lie and deceive. It becomes a way of life. And broken promises abound. Promises to change and stop. These are all well intentioned but can never be kept until the alcoholic is what AA calls a recovering alcoholic. Recovering alcoholics are alcoholics who are able, for the time being, to control their alcoholism. It is as good as it can get for them and their partner. So living with an alcoholic is a very fragile existence, the relationship always undermined by a breach of trust or a potential breach of trust. Then there are the rows. These occur during the binge drinking or continuous drinking (if the alcohol...
38 comments
Read more

Alcoholics Disappoint

Emptiness born out of continual disappointment - photo by Tch0la =) Alcoholics disappoint all the time. It happens over and over again. As a victim of an alcoholic you think that you can start living even a little bit normally. Just a little bit of normality is all you ask. It is all you crave. And when you think that you are getting there, bang, she screws up again. Jane hardly ever keeps her word. She will promise and never deliver. These are the ways of alcoholics. Or at least the one I am living with. But I think it is pretty normal across the board. Alcoholics disappoint in part because they are constantly being driven by the first priority in their life: where and when to get the next drink. This rules their lives. They probably hate it but I reckon most don't even have an opinion on it. Their mind is full of the desire for that first rush after the neat vodka hits the brain. And then they can't resist the urge to repeat it. Jane does this until she falls asleep. Jane pr...
13 comments
Read more