Friday, 23 January 2009
Currently All Is Well
All is Well - or is it? Just a matter of time...photo by Denis Collette...!!!
After the last horrendous binge (11 days) and the aftermath (hospital 1 week, still off work 3 weeks later - is it 3 weeks?, I lose track), I had a serious talk with Jane about moving out. I really have come to the end of the line. It will be difficult on an emotional and practical level but the agonies of living with Jane when she is drunk has made up my mind.
At the moment all is well. After telling Jane my serious thoughts she became more helpful etc. etc. after shedding a tear or two. Jane is currently sober. For how long? It is genuinely sad. I don't want to live alone and I have settled here. I know the area. I have routines etc. But leaving is really is something that I must do as all the visitors have made clear. OK, no one has said "leave" but they say so in so many words. And I have said I am going to leave after each binge and don't - pathetic.
Anyway I won't bore people. Jane is sober. I am leaving and the next binge will (should ) push me to actually do it. I am actually making some moves. Searching for a place to live and advertising etc. so this seems real. Sometimes I don't know myself if I will do what I say and that hurts as I make a point of doing what I say under normal circumstances.
Currently All is Well to Stages of Alcoholism