Skip to main content

Alcoholic Chat

Reality is cracked. Jane is still going running at 7:30 in the morning and still coming back in inordinately high spirits and stumbling over her words slightly. Is this me being paranoiac believing that she is drinking while out on the road running? It's the kind of thing she has done over the years.

Or is she just running and being high spirited because of the running? You know, when you live with an alcoholic and get lied to endlessly you can't believe a thing for one and you become paranoiac for two. It's just inevitable.

Jane is clumsy too. But it is this clumsiness just her nature or is she drunk all the time (slightly) and this is making her clumsy? Don't know.

I can't mention drink with her. If I ask if she has been drinking she'll respond aggressively by saying that I am accusing her of drinking. She'll fly of the handle and go into a deep sulk. The mood in the home disintegrates and nothing is gained. So, I just keep quiet and write this blog instead. It keeps me sane.

She going to AA every day, which is great. But if she is drinking at the same time, albeit in small quantities, she is fooling herself, lying to herself, which can only lower her already low self esteem.

If I spy on her to check whether she is buying Vodka in the morning on a run or drinking it on the run and find out she is drinking, I can't confront her with that information as she'll become aggressive and defensive and say that I am lowering her self esteem. She'll say,"It's no wonder I have low self-esteem" - pure madness. Best thing: keep quiet.

She just had a shower and struggled to get out of the bathroom (couldn't operate the door handle!) - she's got to be drunk again.

Photograph copyright and By Simone ver.β
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.

Popular posts from this blog

Alcoholism Signs For Family

If a person regularly falls asleep just after breakfast she is possibly an alcoholic. This is because she has had more than a stiff drink early in the morning. Although, alcoholism signs for the family are hard to spot in my experience. What is my experience? It's being the partner and now (2008) a "live in partner" of an alcoholic for about 9 years. Update: I am still her partner but no longer living with her in 2024 which is 16 years after this page was first written! The first section of this article is by me based on experience. The second part is by Bing's Co-pilot after researching the internet. At the end of the article are some pointers as to whether the person in question is an alcoholic. When I first met Jane I didn't know that she was an alcoholic. At that moment in time I was an innocent to the world of alcoholism. It took me about 3 months to realize that she was an alcoholic. What lead me to this revelation? When I didn't know she was an alcohol...
Post a Comment
Read more

Alcoholism and Death

photo copyright crowolf published under a creative commons license kindly granted. These 2 ignominiously go together - Alcoholism and Death . Just after Jane's mini-binge (believe me it was a very minor binge by her standards) of about 20 hours she felt, as usual, suicidal. Jane always feels huge remorse and regret after a binge. She feels bad about letting herself down and bad about messing me around (although it wasn't that bad to be honest - it did though mess up what could have been some time together, which we are lacking at the moment due to work). Jane really does genuinely feel suicidal after a binge. But I must say I don't think she'll ever do it. She hasn't got the courage - I know that sounds horrendously cruel etc etc but this blog is about the plain truth unvarnished. It takes courage to kill yourself and a lots of despair. Jane has the one but not the other. Anyway to get more positive. We had a little talk and I in my usual style, mentioned...
67 comments
Read more

Alcoholism is a Disease

1904 Advertisement I have always wondered if alcoholism is a disease . Is this just some sort of idea someone dreamed up years ago as a method to make a buck. You know it could have been that way. People think diseases are either curable or that the symptoms can be controlled to an extent where the person can live pretty normally. The signal sent to alcoholics by the idea that alcoholism is a disease is, "I can be cured by a pill" or "there is hope". And they go off and search for a cure to this mysterious disease...... It may be a disease, though. What is the definition of "disease"? It is an abnormal condition that impairs bodily functions with accompanying symptoms (after Wikipedia). Or here is another definition: An alteration of the state of the body or parts of it interrupting normal function (mine after ThinkExist.com). These are broad definitions. We usually think of diseases as say a virus that infects us and causes illness; the common cold is t...
28 comments
Read more