Skip to main content

Alcoholic Chat

Reality is cracked. Jane is still going running at 7:30 in the morning and still coming back in inordinately high spirits and stumbling over her words slightly. Is this me being paranoiac believing that she is drinking while out on the road running? It's the kind of thing she has done over the years.

Or is she just running and being high spirited because of the running? You know, when you live with an alcoholic and get lied to endlessly you can't believe a thing for one and you become paranoiac for two. It's just inevitable.

Jane is clumsy too. But it is this clumsiness just her nature or is she drunk all the time (slightly) and this is making her clumsy? Don't know.

I can't mention drink with her. If I ask if she has been drinking she'll respond aggressively by saying that I am accusing her of drinking. She'll fly of the handle and go into a deep sulk. The mood in the home disintegrates and nothing is gained. So, I just keep quiet and write this blog instead. It keeps me sane.

She going to AA every day, which is great. But if she is drinking at the same time, albeit in small quantities, she is fooling herself, lying to herself, which can only lower her already low self esteem.

If I spy on her to check whether she is buying Vodka in the morning on a run or drinking it on the run and find out she is drinking, I can't confront her with that information as she'll become aggressive and defensive and say that I am lowering her self esteem. She'll say,"It's no wonder I have low self-esteem" - pure madness. Best thing: keep quiet.

She just had a shower and struggled to get out of the bathroom (couldn't operate the door handle!) - she's got to be drunk again.

Photograph copyright and By Simone ver.Ī²

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.

Popular posts from this blog

Alcoholism Signs For Family

If a person regularly falls asleep just after breakfast she is possibly an alcoholic. This is because she has had more than a stiff drink early in the morning. Although, alcoholism signs for the family are hard to spot in my experience. What is my experience? It's being the partner and now (2008) a "live in partner" of an alcoholic for about 9 years. Update: I am still her partner but no longer living with her in 2024 which is 16 years after this page was first written! The first section of this article is by me based on experience. The second part is by Bing's Co-pilot after researching the internet. At the end of the article are some pointers as to whether the person in question is an alcoholic. When I first met Jane I didn't know that she was an alcoholic. At that moment in time I was an innocent to the world of alcoholism. It took me about 3 months to realize that she was an alcoholic. What lead me to this revelation? When I didn't know she was an alcohol...
Post a Comment
Read more

Living With An Alcoholic

Here is what it is like Living With An Alcoholic . Whatever a normal relationship might mean, it doesn't exist. It is snuffed out by the dreaded Mr V (vodka). One of the first things that comes to mind is that alcoholics are known to be unreliable and just plain liars. And I am not being critical of alcoholics. I am just describing the facts. Alcoholism drives the alcoholic to lie and deceive. It becomes a way of life. And broken promises abound. Promises to change and stop. These are all well intentioned but can never be kept until the alcoholic is what AA calls a recovering alcoholic. Recovering alcoholics are alcoholics who are able, for the time being, to control their alcoholism. It is as good as it can get for them and their partner. So living with an alcoholic is a very fragile existence, the relationship always undermined by a breach of trust or a potential breach of trust. Then there are the rows. These occur during the binge drinking or continuous drinking (if the alcohol...
38 comments
Read more

Alcoholics Disappoint

Emptiness born out of continual disappointment - photo by Tch0la =) Alcoholics disappoint all the time. It happens over and over again. As a victim of an alcoholic you think that you can start living even a little bit normally. Just a little bit of normality is all you ask. It is all you crave. And when you think that you are getting there, bang, she screws up again. Jane hardly ever keeps her word. She will promise and never deliver. These are the ways of alcoholics. Or at least the one I am living with. But I think it is pretty normal across the board. Alcoholics disappoint in part because they are constantly being driven by the first priority in their life: where and when to get the next drink. This rules their lives. They probably hate it but I reckon most don't even have an opinion on it. Their mind is full of the desire for that first rush after the neat vodka hits the brain. And then they can't resist the urge to repeat it. Jane does this until she falls asleep. Jane pr...
13 comments
Read more