Alcoholism in women is increasing because they want to be like men. That sounds an outrageous statement but there is probably some truth in it. I have tried to find figures to confirm or disprove that alcoholism in women is on the increase or not. And I can't readily find the information.There are piles of websites on alcoholism and piles of scientific information, but it all looks very old, very off putting and difficult to read. It basically states the obvious, that alcoholism hurts the body, mind, the family, your finances, your life etc. but in fact for many alcoholism or borderline alcoholism it is a natural consequence of life because life can be so damn difficult.
Life is more comfortable for many but it is still difficult (perhaps more so) in the head - mentally.
It may seem extraordinary that so many people find life so difficult but it is actually completely normal. Life is often unpleasant and the older you get the more tired of it you get so you tend to head for the bottle to make it all bearable.
There has been a shift over the last 40 years towards equality for women. And about time too. Women used to live in "the shadow of men". At one time they weren't even allowed to vote! They rarely used to own property, the title to the family house being held by the "head of the family" the husband. These are just examples, there are many others. This has all changed. There is still some distance to go. But do women really want to go there?
We all know that there are more male alcoholics than female. Why? Probably because a man's life is more miserable than a females - until recently. If women want equality (which is right and proper) and the benefits that brings they'll take the burdens as well, which means more stress and more hassle.
Actually what women are doing in this transitional phase towards complete equality is living the old role (supportive mother etc) and being a breadwinner at the same time - that is bound to drive some to the good ole bottle.
I'll be honest, if I was a women I'd go back to being unequal. Sure there is still stress etc in that role but it's less stressful. The best way for women is to use men to your advantage, not to try and compete with them in areas where they are sometimes better suited.
When a women wants to be like a man she overdoes it. Chill out ladies, don't fight the men, use 'em and play it smart. Remember, this is still a man's world.
photo copyright colodio
I've been reading your blog for about a week now, and am attempting to read every post. I came across this one and decided to comment.
ReplyDeleteI think this post is a great insight...I am a woman and have similar feelings - men do have more pressure on them to succeed financially. That is one of the 'privileges' that woman have in life, and it's great to be in the position to take advantage of it.
The whole competition thing that you mention has truth to it, and greatly annoys me. As a woman, I would like to keep the division between the sexes. Some women, of course, do not feel this way, but I feel as if it does create more work for her - the division of labor has nearly doubled for her alone, (i.e. - balancing work vs. home life). Studies have shown that the women still takes care of more than 1/2 her share, (sometimes ALL) of home life, in addition to full-time employment. Not a fair balance both physically and mentally, in my opinion. This begins to erode on some, and then you cross that ‘threshold’ into an escape.
This caused me to turn to alcohol about a year ago, just couldn’t handle the stress of both. I was lucky to have a partner that curtailed it, (threatening to leave me if I continue the behavior). That’s all it took for me. I will continue to read your blog every few days. I hope that someday Jane stops this behavior and you can lead a stress-free home life.
HI Pebbs
ReplyDeleteThanks for this comment. I think the world is trying to force women into being what they don't really want to be.
The best way is to respect each sex for the skills they bring.
Equality should be at an attitude level not at a functional level.