Alcoholic Living

Alcoholic living when you binge drink and are trying to control it, as Jane my partner is, means a very tense time for me. With my encouragement and help, sometimes, (I am not seeking praise) she has gone to Alcoholics Anonymous every day since her last binge at Christmas.

This is definitely having a positive effect. It seems to have stabilised her. She grumbles pretty well every time she has to go and complains that it takes up too much of the day and that she is too busy (like hell she is). But I keep encouraging her and she goes.

But and this is a big but, when is she going to have a binge? She has been binging for 25 years. And I think (and this is a guess) she is drinking small amounts outside the flat and disposing of the bottle (a miniature) outside thereby concealing the evidence.

She is also running about 2-3 miles each morning and taking 4 pills each morning. These are vitamins, Antabuse and pills for her joints and bones (she has arthritis coming on).

Soon I am going to have to close this website :) if this continues and I'll be very happy to do so. We are now about 3 weeks since the last binge. This is about the time she restarts. Tense times for me waiting to left alone as she takes to the bed with her Vodka.........

Comments

Alcoholism and Death

photo copyright crowolf published under a creative commons license kindly granted. These 2 ignominiously go together - Alcoholism and Death . Just after Jane's mini-binge (believe me it was a very minor binge by her standards) of about 20 hours she felt, as usual, suicidal. Jane always feels huge remorse and regret after a binge. She feels bad about letting herself down and bad about messing me around (although it wasn't that bad to be honest - it did though mess up what could have been some time together, which we are lacking at the moment due to work). Jane really does genuinely feel suicidal after a binge. But I must say I don't think she'll ever do it. She hasn't got the courage - I know that sounds horrendously cruel etc etc but this blog is about the plain truth unvarnished. It takes courage to kill yourself and a lots of despair. Jane has the one but not the other. Anyway to get more positive. We had a little talk and I in my usual style, mentioned...

Alcoholism is a Disease

1904 Advertisement I have always wondered if alcoholism is a disease . Is this just some sort of idea someone dreamed up years ago as a method to make a buck. You know it could have been that way. People think diseases are either curable or that the symptoms can be controlled to an extent where the person can live pretty normally. The signal sent to alcoholics by the idea that alcoholism is a disease is, "I can be cured by a pill" or "there is hope". And they go off and search for a cure to this mysterious disease...... It may be a disease, though. What is the definition of "disease"? It is an abnormal condition that impairs bodily functions with accompanying symptoms (after Wikipedia). Or here is another definition: An alteration of the state of the body or parts of it interrupting normal function (mine after ThinkExist.com). These are broad definitions. We usually think of diseases as say a virus that infects us and causes illness; the common cold is t...

Living With An Alcoholic

Here is what it is like Living With An Alcoholic . Whatever a normal relationship might mean, it doesn't exist. It is snuffed out by the dreaded Mr V (vodka). One of the first things that comes to mind is that alcoholics are known to be unreliable and just plain liars. And I am not being critical of alcoholics. I am just describing the facts. Alcoholism drives the alcoholic to lie and deceive. It becomes a way of life. And broken promises abound. Promises to change and stop. These are all well intentioned but can never be kept until the alcoholic is what AA calls a recovering alcoholic. Recovering alcoholics are alcoholics who are able, for the time being, to control their alcoholism. It is as good as it can get for them and their partner. So living with an alcoholic is a very fragile existence, the relationship always undermined by a breach of trust or a potential breach of trust. Then there are the rows. These occur during the binge drinking or continuous drinking (if the alcohol...

The Diary of a Victim of an Alcoholic

Search This Blog