Tuesday, 8 January 2008


At the moment things are going quite well with Jane. She is attending AA every day, goes jogging first thing in the morning, has just started to cook for me and has a job interview tomorrow. Man it doesn't get much better than that.

Only, being so hurt as I am and so cynical as I would be having been lied to so much in the past, I can't believe that she isn't drinking a little just to see here through the day.

It is almost impossible to spot this as she covers it so well, except on occasions she acts a bit "high" excited etc. which indicates she has had a drink. She is also tired and goes to her room quite a lot.

For example, she always goes for a run at about 7:40 and buys the paper on the way back. This allows her to visit the shops to buy a miniature Vodka, which she consumes on the way back from the shops to the flat (so I think could happen).

This Vodka makes her drunk pretty fast and takes about 20 mins to have an effect. Likewise when going to AA she seems sometimes to come back a bit high but I can't be sure. This is the distrust that is created by constantly lying about drinking and doing it secretly.

She says that Antabuse acts as a laxative but she takes laxatives all the time (to be lighter I guess) so I think that she says this as a cover for the laxatives she takes. Wierd world man.

Still it is now about 11 days or so since the last binge. She normally has them every 2-3 weeks so we'll see. It is not exceptional for her to be sober now anyway so you can't say it's the Antabuse and AA.

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I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.