Skip to main content

Antabuse

At the moment things are going quite well with Jane. She is attending AA every day, goes jogging first thing in the morning, has just started to cook for me and has a job interview tomorrow. Man it doesn't get much better than that.

Only, being so hurt as I am and so cynical as I would be having been lied to so much in the past, I can't believe that she isn't drinking a little just to see here through the day.

It is almost impossible to spot this as she covers it so well, except on occasions she acts a bit "high" excited etc. which indicates she has had a drink. She is also tired and goes to her room quite a lot.

For example, she always goes for a run at about 7:40 and buys the paper on the way back. This allows her to visit the shops to buy a miniature Vodka, which she consumes on the way back from the shops to the flat (so I think could happen).

This Vodka makes her drunk pretty fast and takes about 20 mins to have an effect. Likewise when going to AA she seems sometimes to come back a bit high but I can't be sure. This is the distrust that is created by constantly lying about drinking and doing it secretly.

She says that Antabuse acts as a laxative but she takes laxatives all the time (to be lighter I guess) so I think that she says this as a cover for the laxatives she takes. Wierd world man.

Still it is now about 11 days or so since the last binge. She normally has them every 2-3 weeks so we'll see. It is not exceptional for her to be sober now anyway so you can't say it's the Antabuse and AA.

Photo copyright notfilc creative commons
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

I'd like to hear the experiences of both alcoholics and the victims of alcoholics, please.

Popular posts from this blog

Alcoholism and Death

photo copyright crowolf published under a creative commons license kindly granted. These 2 ignominiously go together - Alcoholism and Death . Just after Jane's mini-binge (believe me it was a very minor binge by her standards) of about 20 hours she felt, as usual, suicidal. Jane always feels huge remorse and regret after a binge. She feels bad about letting herself down and bad about messing me around (although it wasn't that bad to be honest - it did though mess up what could have been some time together, which we are lacking at the moment due to work). Jane really does genuinely feel suicidal after a binge. But I must say I don't think she'll ever do it. She hasn't got the courage - I know that sounds horrendously cruel etc etc but this blog is about the plain truth unvarnished. It takes courage to kill yourself and a lots of despair. Jane has the one but not the other. Anyway to get more positive. We had a little talk and I in my usual style, mentioned...
67 comments
Read more

Alcoholism is a Disease

1904 Advertisement I have always wondered if alcoholism is a disease . Is this just some sort of idea someone dreamed up years ago as a method to make a buck. You know it could have been that way. People think diseases are either curable or that the symptoms can be controlled to an extent where the person can live pretty normally. The signal sent to alcoholics by the idea that alcoholism is a disease is, "I can be cured by a pill" or "there is hope". And they go off and search for a cure to this mysterious disease...... It may be a disease, though. What is the definition of "disease"? It is an abnormal condition that impairs bodily functions with accompanying symptoms (after Wikipedia). Or here is another definition: An alteration of the state of the body or parts of it interrupting normal function (mine after ThinkExist.com). These are broad definitions. We usually think of diseases as say a virus that infects us and causes illness; the common cold is t...
28 comments
Read more

Living With An Alcoholic

Here is what it is like Living With An Alcoholic . Whatever a normal relationship might mean, it doesn't exist. It is snuffed out by the dreaded Mr V (vodka). One of the first things that comes to mind is that alcoholics are known to be unreliable and just plain liars. And I am not being critical of alcoholics. I am just describing the facts. Alcoholism drives the alcoholic to lie and deceive. It becomes a way of life. And broken promises abound. Promises to change and stop. These are all well intentioned but can never be kept until the alcoholic is what AA calls a recovering alcoholic. Recovering alcoholics are alcoholics who are able, for the time being, to control their alcoholism. It is as good as it can get for them and their partner. So living with an alcoholic is a very fragile existence, the relationship always undermined by a breach of trust or a potential breach of trust. Then there are the rows. These occur during the binge drinking or continuous drinking (if the alcohol...
38 comments
Read more